La Belle et la Bête

"The way to read a fairy tale is to throw yourself in." ~W. H. Auden

Every little girl has her favorite fairytale. The reason the story is her favorite is as unique and individual as she is -- a seemingly innocent glimpse into her psyche and her own brand of romance.

For me, it has always been "Beauty and the Beast."

Ever since I was old enough to pick up a book, I have been captivated by the rich romance and the sensual mystery wrapped up in the tale itself.

...a handsome yet arrogant prince, cursed to bear the visage of a beast until he can find someone to love him for his heart and not for his looks.

A dreamy and intelligent French girl who finds herself in an enchanted castle with a moody, romantic creature because of her father's careless mistake.

I don't know what it is about the story of the melancholy beast and the beautiful young bookworm that captivates me so strongly.

In fact, no matter what version or retelling of the story, I have yet to find one that does not capture the unspeakable essence of the story.

Perhaps it is the dramatic emotions of the story...maybe it is the elegant intensity found as the tale progresses...it might even be the gripping and beautiful truths found wrapped in this breathtaking package...

...the idea that beauty is more than just the outward appearance...that the heart is more important than the skin...

...the reminder that pride should be tempered with grace and elegance, and that books are doors to a vast world of imagination and romance...

For even in our adult world, filled with real-life problems and sorrows more than our hearts can bear at times, sometimes we need to remember a few basic truths from the fairytales that whisper to our youthful hearts.

Perhaps we need to take the time to crack open the long-forgotten spine of a familiar story, inhale the sent of leather and dust, and allow ourselves to find that place again...

...that place where roses are magical and castles in France hold our imaginations spellbound.

Diary

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it. ~James Barrie

Visiting the library is like stepping into another world. Shelves and stacks of books line the room from ceiling to floor...

...the rich aroma of ink and dusty volumes whisper of worlds yet hidden in bindings of leather and paper...

...but yet, between these seemingly innocent pages, is danger and mistrust and anger.

For these books are more than just words...more than stories...more than records of fiction or fact...these are the thoughts of an author laid bare before our eyes.

Their secrets are no more.

For I have not yet met a writer who was able to strip all hint of personal emotion from their work.

In fact, the thing that makes an author great is their ability to step into the pages and let their hearts do the writing.

For it is an unmistakable truth that, for a writer to allow another to read their work is to expose their soul.

It is as if we have opened the pages of our most private diary, held it out to the world and begged them...

..."come and read my soul. Feast your eyes upon my hidden mind. And please...be gentle with me."

This may be why so many of us struggle with allowing the world to read our work. It is nothing if not a terrifying idea for someone else to take something that we have poured our hearts and souls into and bring it out into the light.

Pieces of the writer themselves have become lost among the words. It's more than just a fairytale or a retelling of a historical event. It's part of our story, a scrap of our legacy, wrapped up in these fragile pages.

The work itself might be perishable, but the dreams, hopes, and fears that are represented there are enduring.

So please.

Be gentle.

Butterflies

The other day, as I was driving down my parents' driveway, something caught my eye.

A small cluster of yellow and white butterflies were darting around the wildflowers growing in the ditch.

To most, it might have been small and insignificant...a mere trifling speck on the bigger picture of my life.

But at that moment, it struck me as a more powerful, more dramatic thing than a range of mountains or a grove of redwood trees.

Why?

Because, in so many ways, I am that butterfly. Or rather, I yearn to become that butterfly. In fact, I am currently trapped in the state in which this winged flower had once found itself, perhaps only mere days before.

I am trapped in a cocoon -- a chrysalis -- of my own selfish heart and emotional whirlwinds...I am bogged down, overwhelmed with a sense of foreboding and guilt.

There is nothing I want more than to break free from this prison of self-destruction and broken dreams...

...to spread my wings and spread my fragile wings towards the warm sunlight, and fly as if tomorrow was nothing more than a whisper on the wind.

And it's then that I fall to my knees, lost in the realization of who I am and how far I have fallen from the purpose for which I have been created...

...it is then that the King of the Universe reaches down and lifts me up from the ground.
He breaks my prison.

He sets me free.

He makes me beautiful.
And He gives me wings to fly.

As the God man passes by / He looks straight through my eyes / The darkness cannot hide / Do you want to be free? / Lift your chains / I hold the key / All power of Heav'n and earth belong to Me...~"Set Me Free," Casting Crowns

Belong

If I find in myself / desires nothing in this world can satisfy / I can only conclude / that I, I was not made for here / If the flesh that I fight is at best /only light and momentary, / then of course I'll feel nude / when to where I'm destined I'm compared. ~C.S. Lewis Song (Brooke Fraser)

Every one of us wants to belong...

...wants to have a place to set down our baggage and hang up our hearts on the coat rack.

It's more than just finding a comfy apartment or a suitable house to accommodate our current needs.

It's about opening the door, stepping inside, and realizing that this is where we fit...that we have finally found the place we have been searching for our entire lives.

And for so many of us, this place will never be found here on earth.

Of course, there are those earthly places that call out to us and catch us by surprise. They are as close as anything on earth could possibly come to filling that overwhelming void.

These places have something so intrinsic about them...some small detail that captivates us, or a memory that brings us back to feelings of acceptance, perfection, warmth...

...but even these places of sheer delight -- as wonderful as they are -- cannot fully meet the needs of our hearts.

There is something missing...some sort of minute imperfection that reminds us once again of this moral coil upon which we dwell.

It's not until we stop looking down and raise our eyes heavenward that we discover what it is that we've been looking for all along.

We cannot just stand on this side of the wardrobe door, allowing ourselves to settle for this second-best reality. We need to reach out, close our eyes, and remind ourselves that something so much greater...something inexpressible...awaits us on the other side of the door.

One day, these shadows will fall away in a beam of the ultimate Light.

We will no longer have to search for where we belong...the aching feeling will disappear.

We will enter.

Further up and further in...

...with Him is where we belong.

Witness

We need a witness to our lives...in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything..you're saying 'your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'. ~Shall We Dance

People ask me all the time: "So, how's married life?"

This question is one of the most impossible quandaries to answer. Because, honestly, the truth is not what people are looking for when it comes to this question's complicated answer.

They want you to tell them that everything is wonderful, and has been nothing but roses and sunshine since the day you said "I do."

If I told you that, I'd be lying.

Marriage has been one of the hardest things I have ever undertaken. In fact, until a couple of days ago, I don't think I've even fully understood this cacophonous symphony we call "matrimony."

I think God decided that it was time that I had my eyes opened...and everything that I thought I knew about marriage changed dramatically right before my eyes. In the long run, it wasn't even that big of an issue; important, but not life-or-death.

It was last night when I finally realized that I had been going about my marriage all wrong. I had been looking to my husband to fill my heart up and meet my needs without fail...and in the process, Jon's heart had been forgotten.

For the past couple months, God had been trying to turn my eyes away from myself and back onto my husband's aching heart. However, I had been so lost in my own selfish, myopic world that it took something frightening to snap me back into focus.

In a way, I am Jon's only earthly witness to this life we share together.

I am his partner and his other half.

God created me to be Jon's helpmate, his bride, and his companion from the moment we said "I do" until one of us passes from earth to eternity.

I will be his witness...

...hand in hand, from this day forward.

Marriage isn't perfect, to be sure. There will be bumps, heartache, and loss. It takes sacrifice, selflessness, and unconditional love.

It's hard...

...but there will also be love, life, surrender, joy, and precious moments.

It's worth everything.

New

When the years are showing on my face / And my strongest days are gone / When my heart and flesh depart this place / From a life that sung Your song / You'll still be the one I want. ~Brooke Fraser, Arithmetic

I spent a portion of this morning wrapped up in the Word of God -- the book of Revelation, to be precise. And I have to say, it was the most precious part of my day thus far.

As my eyes traced over the pages, eagerly soaking in each verse, the truth of what I was reading washed over me in an overwhelming way. Tears flooded my eyes as the reality and the longing swept through my heart like a beautiful flood.

And I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True...and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God...He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 19:11, 21:3, 5)

It was as if I had been dwelling in the desert for months without a drop of water. The struggles and pain that have marred my life over the past several months had drained me dry. Somehow, I had become lost without even fully realizing...

...and then my amazing and powerful God opened up a well of the purest water directly beneath me.

His voice whispered in my ear, "See, Beloved! I am Faithful and True, and I am here, making you new!"

It was in that moment that I finally found myself realizing...discovering...breathing again.

He is Faithful. He is True. And He is making us new...

...new again in the fullness of His glory and His might! He is captivating me once again, reminding me that His ways are not the same as my ways, and that His heart is for me.

He is new every morning. His mercy comes with the dawn...

...and He holds me spellbound.

World-Turners

The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and “the lilies of the field”— simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us. ~Oswald Chambers

This is for the ones who live...

...who stand up when the world is sitting down...

...who fight when everyone else has fled the battlefield.

I wish you knew exactly how you

Inspire me.

I wish I had the right words to convey

How much you

Amaze me.

Maybe it's the way you stand alone,

Moving the crowd

Instead of them moving you.

Maybe it's the way you love from day to day.

From the simple word

To the more precious gesture.

You live the love.

You inspire me to push upward.

Onward.

Heavenward.

You're more than just my friends...

...more than just my family...

...you're my heroes.

You're my favorite kind of inspiration.

Because you don't just talk.

You live.