natural.

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.  ~John Muir

It's raining today.

Again.

I don't really even know how much rain we've had this summer, but it's been an incredibly high amount. How many times have I awoken to the shuddering crash of thunder, followed by a blinding jolt of zig-zag electricity?

More than I can count.

It's actually raining outside my window right now. I can hear the rush of the cars through the puddles on the street, the damp whisper of the leaves in the wind.

But it's not raining in my head.

In my head, I'm wandering through green hills, rolling and speckled with ruins that speak of days unseen for a thousand years.

It's not raining there. It's sunny, blue skies with the most beautiful whisper of clouds across the skies. I'm not saying I crave perfection. I just crave the utmost glories of nature.

Rain, stay if you must.

For in my head, you are merely the soundtrack to the Jane Austen vision flowing behind my eyes.

I crave the natural.

I crave the green.

(This post was written draftless. No editing, no stopping, no saving for later. I wrote as I wrote, and stopped when I stopped. This is the meaning of draftless.)

draftless. {challenge}

I want to fit. I want to be accepted, no matter what I do or what I say. I want to keep my fingers crossed and my eyes wide shut to the imperfections of this vessel that is me.

But I can't seem to shut my eyes as tight as I would like.

I can still see all the cracks. Every last cracked and battered shard until there is nothing but the damage.

After hours of thinking, this is what I realized.

i write too many drafts.


it's so much more than just saving now for later.

it's overthinking. overknowing.

it's too much.

and i can't stop myself.

i keep going back and

editing

editing

editing 

again and again until my inspiration has become uniform and my former dreams conform to yours.

but then i get scared of what you might think of me and i leave my draft unpublished.

another bit of broken pottery.

so i write another.

and another

and another

until my dashboard is flooded with orange italics and too many unfinished thoughts.

count your drafts. how many do you have, really? is it just one? is it five, or ten, or twenty, or one hundred?

four. four drafts too many.

not today. not this time.

no edits, no overthinking. just writing as i think, thinking as i write.

i am His first draft.

why can't this be mine?

This is me draftless.

This is my challenge to you. Don't think or edit or write countless drafts. Just sit at your computer and write. As long or as short as you wish...just let the words flow like water from your mind to your fingertips and out into the world. Then link up below. 

Take the plunge and go draftless.