blessing overwhelming {228-235}

{via pinterest}

this month is half over already. and it's overwhelmed with blessings

i started this month with a whisper of a word, spoken to the night like a pleading, a promise. brave.

and then the world started tangling and twisting, so many things changed in the space of sixteen short days. and fingers fumbled with slender packages and whispered words of new life discovered as i leaned against a cold steel wall. 

and my blessings continued to grow, even as my mind churned in wonder and i felt myself changing from the inside out. it's the strangest, the deepest growing that i have ever experienced.

this -- these months counting down on infant fingers and toes...this is my most breathtaking brush with sacredness yet. 

• 228. two dark purple lines that change a life forever

• 229. rest from weariness, peace in confusion

• 230. brand-new grandparents, eyes illuminated with the excitement of new life

• 231. fresh grapefruit and woven wheat crackers. 

• 232. the connecting fingers of sisters and friends, the ones that care and the ones that cradle

• 233. a husband rejoicing, a family celebrating. 

• 234. learning to change my body's position in sleep and in life, moving my feet in step with the dance of mother instead of me

• 235. now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. {eph. 3:20}

and so i'm continuing to find the beauty in the seemingly ordinary. those things that are perhaps forgotten, perhaps misunderstood. these are the things i'm learning to love. 

i'm getting a stronger grasp on the important, seeking the sacred in the foggy mirrors and the crumpled scraps of paper. 

:: becoming mother ::

:: becoming warioress ::

:: becoming seeker ::

becoming braver and braver, day by day. 

Cadeau (Gift) {33-40}

If you give what can be taken, you are not really giving.  Take what you are given, not what you want to be given.  Give what cannot be taken.  ~Idries Shah

It hardly seems possible that another week has come and gone.

I wonder if time is playing tricks on me...speeding up and slowing down however it wishes, if only to lure me into a false sense of security before pouncing upon me in some strange and unnoticed way.

Each week, as I take stock of the occurrences which now fill the path behind me, I am caught up in the awe and wonder that is my life...and that is my God.

My life is full of beauty. For all the heartache, struggles, and pain that I with which I war daily...there is so much light kissing the edges of the shadows, and making them seem so much less frightening.

• 33. Waiting by the mailbox patiently all week long, only to open the small copper door and finally find the most beautifully penned note for which I have been tirelessly waiting...as I have said, it is the small things.
• 34. An evening of fun with people whom I care deeply about...putting aside myself for just a few hours, donning a hand-stitched cape and dramatically swirled eye makeup, and joining the leagues of justice for a more-than-delightful Heroes and Villains murder mystery party. 
• 35. 11:11 and eyelash wishes. Perhaps a bit of foolishness...more than a gentle reminder to think and pray for you.
• 36. Raspberry lemon ice and oreo-M&M shakes with my daddy after a particularly frustrating rehearsal. Tucked in a blue and white booth, laughing over nothing and mutually missing my mother and sister...such comfort only my daddy can provide. 
• 37. Captain America, too much popcorn and Diet Pepsi, with a bag of M&Ms to share between us...I will never to get too old to share 3D glasses and date night with my daddy. 
• 38. Waking up to Owl City ringtones and the most perfect sunrise...even though I am still confused why my alarm was set to 5:30am. Even still, the glory of the heavens and the paint from the hands of my King made it all worth it in the end. 
• 39. The realization that I can't carry everything by myself...that I have a God who's big enough to carry me and everything else. And on mornings this like...I am clinging to this truth like I'm drowning. For me, and for those I love. 
• 40. Letting God crack the door to the poetic corners of my heart this week..feeling Him cut away at my silent, struggling voice. I am Moses...I cannot speak well. He is making me Deborah. 

I am trying to gaze at the bigger picture. I am letting go of my own mentality of "this is now, and this is all it will ever be."

My life is watercoloured clouds. 

First glance, it is simple, basic, and easily explained.

But now

I am tones of pink and gold and blue and silvery green.

These are my gifts...

...these watercolour clouds. 

See, I am doing a new thing. Now it is springing up; can you not perceive it?I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." ~Isaiah 43:19

gifts {1-7}

I have learned to cease my despising of Mondays.

Yes, for the majority of the world (myself included), Mondays are the bane of our existence.

Back to work. Back to school. Back to the daily grind of all things "weekday"...the departure from the simple restfulness that is the weekend.

Monday's seem to capture all the unspoken troubles of weekends past, and transform them into some doubly horrific and unbearably stressful.

I understand this. I have lived through countless Mondays in my 20 years, and I know I have many more to come. In fact, I struggle with allowing myself to sink into depression at the state of the week, becoming overwhelmed with all I have faced, and that which I have yet to endure in the days ahead.

But I am changing my focus...redirecting my viewpoint from my weary feet and upwards toward the Cross.

So for me, and for this blog, Mondays will now be our time to remember....to enjoy...to take in the gifts that the King has brought upon us.

1,000 of them, to be exact. Perhaps only two or three, perhaps more than a dozen at a time. Each Monday, I will count my blessings...to one thousand and perhaps even beyond.

1. The lovely roll of thunder to which I awoke
2. The sweet familiar smell of my pillow beneath my head
3. Sweet puppy kisses on my toes, and golden eyes looking up at me with love as I write
4. The discovery of IZZE at a local convinience store, almost 60 miles closer than I thought
5. A loving text from someone I hold dear, reminding me once again that I am not alone, that I am not fighting this uphill battle alone
6. The stunning melody of instrumental piano on a friend's blog, which currently fills my ears as I compose this post. 
7. Awakening to read Isaiah 43:2-3, and inhaling the promise of my Savior's enduring love as thought it was the most perfect and delicate of perfumes. 

Mondays are full of all things beautiful, just as are the other days of the week. In fact, Monday is the ribbon on the package that is a new week. 

When the first rays of sun dawn on a Monday, it is the first tug of that parcel binding. When the thunder rolls, it is God tearing open the paper, revealing a new beginning, without a single mistake upon the page. 

This idea was inspired by the beautiful and delightfully outspoken Sarah and her lovely corner of the internet: Emerging Mummy...and what a thought it was. To reach beyond the veil and touch the face of God...to receive His love instead of casting down makeshift curses. 

And that is where I shall begin. Pen in hand, my Beloved King at my side, and new mercies as the dawn. 

I encourage each of you to do the same. There is no button for this challenge...no specific tag of any kind. But the prize? The prize is greater than any giveaway I could ever concoct. 

The prize is joy. Peace. Delight. Blessing. 

The chance to take a long, slow breath...if only for just this one moment. 

Happy Monday, my loves. 

This day is not a curse...

...it is a new beginning...

...the ultimate blessing. 

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” ~Lamentations 2:22-24