my own

{via pinterest}

there are plenty of mornings when i have no idea what to write about. it might just be one of the most frustrating things i have ever and will ever encounter in my life.

writing is my life. my pillow is words and my tongue is prose and my clothing is poetry and my blood is ink and inspiration.

and so when it is illusive, i feel as though i am missing. melting. a fog being sieved by the rocks and trees and mountains of this very real thing called life.

i look at this world and think

how can i not write? there is so much here. 


and in my dreams, inspiration comes. in those last moments before slumber overtakes, my mind is full to overflowing with this and that and so so so much richness that comes in the fog of dreaming while awake.

but then i awake, and i have lost it all.

inspiration is less frightening that i wish it was, i think.

 i wish i had a reason to be afraid of knowing this light. because there is power in this light, and it's my calling to bring it here.

His wish. 

share My words, dearheart. 

and it's frightening. because this is big.

i sit, quilts tangled and sunlight streaming. voices calling nonsense from the street below.

{via pinterest}

and i touch the play on my pandora and let the music envelop.

i let the phone ring, and press my best friend's voice to my ear as she spills life and pain and confusion and delights into my waiting soul...because she's good at that for me.

i soak myself in life. 

this melody of inspiration that never stop flowing, the one i just have to reach out and touch.

so i run fingers back through tangled locks

and smile.

i need Your grace

to remind me

to find my own.

{linking with laura -- this playdate with the King} 

woman

{via pinterest}

{note: this post was inspired by this post from the beautiful Sarah at Emerging Mummy. it lit the candle under me. i can't be silent now.}


we are more

these Christian daughters of this world, these women and girls and widows and wives and mothers and sisters and singles and barren and overflowing with love regardless of this cobblestone we stand upon.

we are more. 

we are more than these invented definitions of femininity. we are more than kitchens and apron strings. we are more than decorators and mothers and wives.

we may be these things. but we are more. we are not silent. we are not insignificant.

we crave like you.

we crave voice. we crave depth. we crave more than modesty lectures and reminders to be the weaker ones. we need more than cooking classes and socials.

we do not have to have one extreme or the other.

either sex symbol or wallflower.

this must not be. 

we need more than our silent allotments of stand and sit and worship and listen and nothing more than this.

we crave Him. 

we ache to go deeper.

we want to search His will and see His heart and wrestle with Him in hand-to-hand until we find ourselves undone and exposed before Him.

He chose us too. 

and not only the housewives or the silent servants.


every woman has a calling.

and He chose us ALL. 

{via pinterest}

Martha, Martha. 

follow your sister, Mary. for she {this sitting enraptured seeker} has chosen what is right. 

he took those broken women. those defiled women.

those prostitutes at which the world painted whore. those vagabonds with broken homes and no husbands. those eager follows who sat and listened and yearned for Him. those water-bearers and thirsty souls.

every walk. every phase. every calling.

those hem-grabbers. those cross-clingers. those outcasts. those reachers. those tender open hearts who wanted Him and Him alone.

we are women. we are vessels, full of Him and aching to overflow.

we are brave and strong and beautiful and beloved.

we are more.

we are voice. love. power. 

His. 

Let us RISE to the questions of our time. Let us SPEAK to the injustices in our world. Let us MOVE the mountains of fear and intimidation. Let us SHOUT down the walls that separate and divide. Let us FILL the earth with the fragrance of Love.

Let us be women who Love. 

{quote from here -- more words to be read}


{linking with michelle, laura, and jen today}

{untitled for love}

{found this via my dear rain. artist anyone?}

so little is sure.

and so we clutch planners and calenders and count days on our fingers and toes and say 

i will. 

we will. 

this will.

and then it comes and all has changed. 

twenty one years can change a lot of all i thought i knew. 

here is not here sixteen years ago. dreams were not these, and life was not these cobblestones. 

it was all me. not this. 

i dreamed of perfection of jots and tittles. of smooth roads and transplanted potholes. 

i never dreamed of free thoughts or casting capitalization away and making rational thought from these fluttering butterflies. that university would fade into a "maybe someday" and i would consider dreadlocks from this smoothness. 

i never dreamed in peeling paint and bare toes and paintbrush bristles and jewel tones. 

i should have. 

a conversation with my sister. her eighteen to my twenty and one. us both shaking heads and laughing.

did you see us here? as artists? 

neither of us did. 

so little is sure. 

i like this new me, i think. no, i know i do. i didn't know how hard it would be. but that's alright. because He knows. and i'm learning this dance of trust and 

yes, Lord and Thy will. 

so now we're sister artists. photographer, writer. long hair swept up in scarves and learning to touch Heaven from earth again. 

and we bury our dayplanners and say, if He wills. 

we follow now. 

these sister artists. 

{again linking this imperfection with love}

but not

for love of You

i'm a sky on fire.

and for love of You

i come alive. 

it's Your sacred heart within me beating

it's all for You.

~Audrey Assad

sometimes, the above truth is all you have.

the reality that life is complicated. and hard. 

but i am a sky afire. 

all because of Him.

and right now, i'm feeling extremely frustrated and defeated. 

but i'm not my own.

hard-pressed but not crushed

perplexed but not in despair

struck down but not destroyed.

i am in awe of Him. 

this girl is a sky on fire.

all for Him.

i live in this world of but not. 

i am in this world but not of it. 

i am His. 

all for Him. 

this sky afire.

{this playdate with my King}