wonderful

{Dorothy and Toto get to know the Scarecrow}

i am currently seated in my overstuffed leather armchair. 

hair back in a bit of a ratty ponytail, toes bare. my grey t-shirt speaks my weekend to a t.

defying gravity. 

this weekend, i walked down the yellow brick road with a fantastic cast of 45. 

we made magic. 

in this world we created, scarecrows can sing and men made of tin can wander through the woods. lions can skip and little girls can become puppy dogs with the help of a little black makeup. 

poppies are dangerous. trees are fierce. witches can be good or bad...well, only two. giant mystical wizards might be a little less than they appear. 

and ruby shoes have magical powers.  

we also made a family. 

i sit here, a green t-shirt drapped over the arm of my comfy resting place. 

45 Sharpie-scrawled signatures. 

who knew that yellow bricks could cement hearts like this? 

this technicolour magic lingers still. 

{melting...she's melting}

i'm crying now. i miss them already. they took my heart and painted it silver.

i have brains, a heart, and courage aplenty.

it was wonderful. 

to my incredible cast and crew: 

who can say if i've been changed for the better, but because i knew you, i have been changed for good.

{i promise that there are more pictures from the show coming soon. these are just two of my favourites that have been posted so far, and i wanted to share them with you.}

phoenix stage

There is hope; there is a purpose to suffering. Art can create a place where the weight and reality of our darkness can be seen. ~Makoto Fujimuzo

i live for art.

really, i do.

they drive me crazy sometimes. i find myself sitting on the edge of the stage, gazing out over all the empty seats

and i wonder why i do it.

and then i remember. 

i do it for the nights like this one.

the nights where cue-to-cues flow better than they are supposed to and struggling lines turn smooth and rocky steps being to flow in unison again.

i do it for the beauty. for the composition. for the thrill and rush and the incredible feeling of satisfaction seeing months of hard work transformed into a symphony onstage.

today was the first day of Tech Week for OZ!


day one of five before the show. day one of five arduous days that will make my brain ache, my tears flow, and my legs ache with constant pacing and running and darting and leaping.

but it's a beautiful kind of pain.

it's perfect. 

it's this dance. this gift from Him to me. this pain that turns to joy.

this onstage phoenix. 

this quote from my precious Alexandria speaks my artist heart better than i ever could.

We tape up sore toes, 

play till our fingers bleed, 

stain our hands with ink and paint, 

deal with writer's cramp, 

and weep through countless sleepless nights

because without our art 

we would die.

Ruby

I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being. ~Oscar Wilde

Today is another OZ! rehearsal.

I know I haven't blogged about it a lot since it began, minus a small introductory post, posted in a fit of intense exhaustion the night of auditions

Really, I think it's because I at one point was trying to keep my personal life away from this blog. I didn't want to be the kind of person who chronicled the details of my day-by-day existence, simply because that wasn't the point behind this blog in the beginning.

But honestly, this show means a lot to me....maybe even more than any other production I've worked on thus far. That's a hard thing to say, given how many shows I've been a part of in my almost twenty-one years of life, but I think it might be true for this one.

OZ! is a bucket list item that I've finally managed to check off.

Number 43: direct my first musical. 

We open in one month from Tuesday. My 21st birthday, September 23rd, will be spent fulfilling a lifelong dream. 

It has been so incredibly hard. Much harder than I ever could have envisioned at the beginning. And I'm sure that, as this show continues to progress, I will have more and more and more and more and more moments of varying levels of emotion.

Every director has a roller-coaster that we ride from the very first day.

Yes! This is going to be amazing!

This is NEVER going to get done.

We are so far ahead!

I can't do this; it's just too hard!

I know that I have already run the gambit of these feelings more than once, and I promise that I will be doing it again in the near future. 

I have cried so many tears to my Love in frustration over this show.

I have hosted small one-person dance parties in my kitchen in the utter elation of success. 

It's what happens in theatre. 

It's a dream come true.

And so, as the weeks pass and rehearsals come heavy and fast, I will continue to click my ruby-clad heels together and whisper

there's no place like home.  

Août (August)

I walk without flinching through the burning cathedral of the summer.  My bank of wild grass is majestic and full of music.  It is a fire that solitude presses against my lips.  ~Violette Leduc

Tomorrow is the first day of August.

The last full month of summer, and the eight month of the year.

I have always looked at August as the prelude to autumn...the first notes of the golden orange and brown symphony that is close at hand.

I'm not sure what I think about all summer being so close to an end. I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of what I want to accomplish before the days grow short and the prologue to snow arrives.

The colour schemes of nature will change from the fresh summery greens and purples...fading into the rich and fragrant reds and gold tones of harvest.

I'm honestly not sure if I'm ready for the seasonal change.

Yes, I am going to eventually embrace the inevitability that the promises of God are eternal....autumn follows summer, an unbroken cycle until the end of days. And yes, I soak in the beauty of every season...I do not have a favourite, for each one has its own glories of inspiration.

But summer has not ended yet...I still have time.

Time to continue to work on my production of OZ!, which I do promise to write more about in the coming weeks....

...to have picnics of sandwiches and lemon drop fudge, to sip lemonade and eat ice cream cones by the riverfront...

...time to chase fireflies and count the endless stars in the clear country skies..,

...time to taste the freshness of sun-ripened fruit against my lips, and embrace the delicate flavour of every sort of berry imaginable.

August arrives tomorrow.

Fall will have to wait

just a bit longer.

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.  ~Albert Camus

Late {15-23}

Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I know that today is Tuesday, and that I missed my weekly time of contemplation that come amid the sunrise each Monday morning.

Yesterday, however, was one of those days that left me simply no time for blogging...save for a short yet sweet explanation of my absenteeism, which can be found here.

And trust me, as much as I love each and every one of you, it was truly worth it in the long run.

Yesterday was one of those days that was so full of complicated blessings and wracked with unending moments of business that it almost has all run together in a watercolour blur...

...and yet, the blessings stand out as clear as though they were illuminated in an outline of the purest of light.

• 15. The restoration of the once-under-appreciated gift of electricity after almost an entire day of darkness, due to yet another vicious storm that swept over us.

• 16. Checking item 43 off my bucket list...as I begin the process of directing my first musical theater production...one step closer to fulfilling all my dreams. OZ! has just begun. 

• 17. The squeal of delight from an aspiring actor or actress as I tell them the part they received...these phone calls are one of the best parts of being a director. 

• 18. The simple blessings of a sunrise, warm and sweet after so many days of oppressive storm clouds stealing the sunlight. 

• 19. Awakening to read the beautiful words of Psalm 113, my heart flooding with tear-filled wonder and awe..."Who is like our God?"

• 20. Discovering that my little sister is coming home from Germany almost a month earlier than originally planned...reading a Facebook wallpost filled with sisterly inside jokes and upcoming photoshoot plans...it's been too long since I've seen my best friend.

• 21. Owl City and icy-cold Dr. Pepper...the melodies and the dripping moisture down the side of the can blending into a strange symphony of sensation and beauty.

• 22. The discovery of this song by Breanne Duren...Adam Young's female counterpart with a voice like oranges and sandlewood. This is my new musical love. 

• 23. Allowing my love of dandelions to pour out into this guest post over at A New Rebel...innocent beauty found in the weed patch. 

More simple joys. More little things combined to make beautiful pleasures of life.

Forgive my lateness...

...and embrace my delight. 

When ideas float in our mind without any reflection or regard of the understanding, it is that which the French call revery, our language has scarce a name for it.  ~John Locke

Collapse

I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being. ~Oscar Wilde

This will be an incredibly short post, and I do promise a much longer one tomorrow.

I am exhausted to the core.

But the words "overjoyed relief" do not fully capture the euphoria I am feeling at this very moment. There is truly nothing in comparison to this feeling, except perhaps Opening Night.

Twelve hours...

...almost 40 auditioners....

...47 jawbreakers...

...more caffeine than any one human should consume in their lifetime...

...an amazing team of seven passionate theatrical individuals....

...and my production of "OZ!" has been completely cast.

God is so beautiful.

Theater is tragically wonderful...flawlessly frustrating...and epic in all its never-ending facets.

As of today, I don my "Director" baseball cap.

Tonight, I start my trip down the Yellow Brick Road and dust off my ruby slippers.

I have been waiting for this moment for my entire theatrical career.

OZ! has officially begun.

Here goes nothing.

Soli Deo Gloria.