clutter

i am a very organized person.

i require neatness and tidiness wherever i go.

however, those of you who have had the rather facetiously-stated pleasure of seeing the interiour of my apartment know that i have trouble taking this concept from shelf to floor.

i have extremely organized cabinets. 

bookshelves. 

DVD cases. 

tabletops and counters. 

however, the rest of the place is a bit

well

lacking in order.

i suppose a good and far more appropriate word is clutter. 

something i hate, but something i have trouble getting rid of on a regular basis.

cleaning isn't the problem. really, it's not. i can clean in a matter of a half hour, and the place looks brilliant. it's keeping my home in this newly tidied fashion which becomes the issue.

honestly, though, i think our lives are crowded with clutter. if not our homes, then definitely our minds.

date books.

events.

 calenders. 

family life.

 education. 

the daily grind of work. 

so much 

noise. 

so much 

shuffle. 

so much 

confusion. 

it's enough to make one's head spin completely off and run away to a darkened closet for shelter.

but even the closets are full of so much stuff.

there is no place to hide. no place for quiet and stillness. at least, not in ourselves.

there is peace, though.

it's waiting on our slightly uneven living room couch. at the foot of our unmade and tousled beds. at the kitchen table that still holds far too many piles of paperwork and charcoal pencils.

it's waiting at the foot of the Cross.

so much peace crying out so loudly.

come to Me, heavy-laden daughters. 

come to Me, worn and weary sons.

rest in Me, beloved ones. 

in Him, there is no clutter.

only perfect peace. 

Still

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Life is complicated.

There are so many things that play into every day life, even those things that we primarily take for granted.

...even when we don't notice, things are complex.

It takes more than just the passing of time -- the turning of moments into years -- for someone to mature.

It takes the rain. The heat. The storms. The pressure. The pruning. The pain.

These things are not always realities that are easy for us to grasp. We want things to fall into place without any work or discomfort. We just want everything to be perfect right away.

And so we push away the pain. We shy away from anything that could possibly be the slightest bit uncomfortable...that might be hard.

We shut down the growth.

We settle into a pool of stagnant water...unmoving and unchanging. It may seem still and serene for the moment, but it eventually grows foul and rank, filled with impurities that cannot be swept away.

The foulness is trapped...we are imprisoned by our own good intentions.

...except Him.

...we hit rock bottom.

Sometimes, even the little things like breathing are almost too much to handle.

So many times, it feels like the entire ground is just shaking...nothing is standing still...

Sometimes, all you can do is reach up and take His hand, trusting Him to not let go.

I promise you -- He never lets go.

The world is unsteady sometimes.

He never moves.

When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands. ~Your Hands, JJ Heller