overflowing // pie {213-219}

i'm at a loss for words this afternoon.

{via pinterest}

the Christmas rush is finally starting to trickle down, barely twelve hours from the twenty-four that spelled out this sacred day, we are back to life again. back to normal, i suppose.

but can you ever really be normal after knowing?

is that even something i want? 

because this Christmas was more than just presents and sparkling lights, and perhaps even more than singing certain songs with hands raised in the candlelight. it was about being emptied, and then being made full again. because isn't that what we celebrate?

this thing of being empty. because how can something that is already full be filled anymore?

it's an overflow when the shell begins to brim over and then the Light tumbles over the edge and spills over in a waterfall over the edges and down the sides and falling down on everything and everyone beneath.

• 213. joy

• 214. Him coming, Him saving. 

• 215. sparkling eyes in Christmas lights

• 216. those grateful words on innocent lips when toys and games spark wonder

• 217. my precious family. words cannot express.

• 218. a God who loved enough to give. 

• 219. a Son who loved enough to die. 

{via pinterest}

:: it's a pie shell ::

you see, i made pie this Christmas, blueberry. and as i poured the dark purple berries in their thick syrup into a patiently waiting pastry shell, i watched them flood and fill until the edges were brimming with sweetness. 

but even as i covered the pie with carefully cut lattice strips and slid it into the waiting heat, i felt the touch on my soul and the whisper

do you see this thing of being filled?

it's okay to be out of room, dearheart.

because when you spill over, you bless.

it's about having more than you can handle, more than your words can fully form and it spills over. maybe that's why i'm counting my blessings differently this Monday, this day that normally flows with rising numbers as i tick them off one by one. 

because i'm overflowing.

{linking my continuous blessings with Ann}

shared

sometimes i wish i had camera-eyes. recorder ears. 

that all i had to do was blink and freeze every perfect moment, to turn around and download and share with those i love

because there are things i crave to share. 

but the words fall too short. 

i bite my feeble tongue because it cannot do what i wish it could. 

i can't press the glory of these sights. these sounds. oh, i ache to express fully. 

sometimes i wonder why God made us unable to speak our visions. why can we not simply let our lips part and flood this world with all we've seen. why must some things remain silent?

i want to use my tongue to paint the scene. the way the moon glows and the stars sing just so. the richness of the heather and lilac against my cheek. the kiss of wind in that perfect hair-ruffling instant. 

these are moments that i cannot share. 

this is between me and God.

this is sharing intimacy unlike any other with the Lord of Heaven. 

i am not sharing these things with Him

because He is sharing them with me. 

a gift, a moment, a sight so perfect. nothing on this Earth, not a scrap of this beauty, can compare to this realization that this is from Him. 

and so this music in my ear

this sight before my eyes

this moment which i crave to sink into my skin and glow from my core

these are intimacies with the King of Kings. with my Daddy God. 

this is the preciousness of privacy. 

Overflow

Yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength. He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places. ~Habakkuk 3:18-19


At this moment, I am overwhelmed.


So many things have come at me at once...and I am simply lost in the glory and incredible love of my Savior.


The response to my giveaway within in the first eight hours of its posting caught me entirely off-guard. The way my family, friends, and followers have showered me with love and support is beyond anything I could have ever anticipated...


...and I cannot wait to see what the next month has in store.


My sister, who is currently overseas in Germany for the next three months, has made a true effort to stay connected with me...even though we have both been struggling in recent days with our relationship.


People in my life who have covered me in prayer...loved me and wanted me, despite my endless list of weaknesses and insecurities, and made an effort to keep me in their lives...their love is remarkable.


The reality of all of these incredible occurrences is enough to draw me to my knees and bring tears of joy pouring down my face.


This is more than I deserve.


I cannot even fathom it fully.


I am undone.


This entire process, however, has put something powerful in the forefront of my mind.


I no longer want to be happy.


Being happy comes and goes...emotions fade in and out like flower petals in a gale.


I want joy.


I want lasting peace and enduring love that stays at my side, regardless of what pain I endure....regardless of what is said to me, or thought of me...casting aside the happiness that only the world can bring.


I want to rejoice.


In light and in dark...in life and in death...in love and in heartbreak...


...I want to overflow in peace.


In joy.


In Him.


He has made me strong. He has FLOODED me with Himself in ways that my human mind flounders to understand.


And that is where I want to stay.


Overcome by joy.


The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting. ~C.S. Lewis