passing

{the last picture taken of me and Granny
August 2011}

i'm bewildered by this thing of passing

the ticking hands of the clock that taunt or sing, never knowing which until you stand in their shadow.

the gentle rush of calender pages that flow and shuffle past from day to month to year, making you stop and stare with just how much time has flitted past your unsuspecting fingertips.

and eventually, the fingers of God gently bring the ticking to a silence. the rustling to a halt.

the end comes eventually. 

and the end is floating steady onward toward my great-grandmother.

this good and faithful one is making her steps toward Heaven's gates, this walk she has taken for so long. a life so changed by the hand of God, a daughter so loved by the King of Heaven.

and so i sit and wonder how to grieve. 

do i even dare to grieve for this soon-coming loss of mine

for her gain is so much greater?

she called for my grandfather first. her youngest son. and so he boarded a plane to California and flew to his mother's side.

then the call was for my mother. one of her many granddaughters. and so my mother and sister boarded a plane and went to her side.

{my favourite picture of Granny ever.
Grandpa at her bedside earlier this week
reading the Bible to her.
this is my legacy}

i envy those who are at her bedside today. those who sit in her bedroom, holding her hand and reading her favourite Words to her.

her days are coming to an end. this life of ninety-five vibrant years is starting to fade.

she fades, but never pales. her breaths are numbered, but her life is eternal.

Granny is going home. 

be it today or sometime in the next week.

and in my heart, i grieve her loss. this great lady.

but in my soul, i dance.

because this daughter is going home.

i love you, Granny. so very much. i will see you on the other side. 

give Jesus a hug for me. 

He's waiting for you. 

{tmy sister's tribute to Granny can be found here}

Graduate

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

My little sister's High School graduation was on Saturday.

It was a day of emotion, family, and the passing of the baton from one generation to another...watching the graduation of my baby sister flooded me with pride.

As I watched her and a small cluster of my younger friends walk across the stage and receive their diplomas from their fathers, it was quite the flashback of my own graduation two years ago.

I remember standing against the wall with my closest friends as we prepared for the processional, slowly realizing that my life was about to change forever.

I remember the commencement speech and the mountains of advice given that day from teachers, parents, family, and friends to the class of 2009.

I remember giving my speech, fidgeting with my tassel, crying as I hugged my dad while my diploma passed from his hands to mine.

I remember smiling for endless photos and laughing through my tears as I shared final moments with the people who had shaped my life for the past five years.

But above all else, I remember being gripped by a combination of terror and passionate excitement.

It was the first day of my future, and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. At that moment, all my dreams seemed so huge...so wonderfully wide and frightening massive.

So this is my word to you -- to HHSW's Class of 2011...to every graduate who has turned their tassel this year...

Be.

Be a man of God. Be a woman of grace.

Be a radical changer of the world.

Be strong and of courage, for the Lord is with you.

Be mighty men and women of valor and love.

Be dreamers. Be faithful. Be passionate.

Be yourself.

But above all,

Be His.

Congratulations Class of 2011.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings