I pray your glory shines / through this doubting heart of mine / so my world would know that You…You are my strength / You and You alone / You and You alone / Keep bringing me back home. ~Gungor, You Are my Strength
I know that you're all expecting my weekly Monday musings regarding all the beautiful things in my life.
And there are many of them, brimming just under the surface of my dreams and moments this past week.
But right now, I can't find them.
I made a resolution to myself that I wouldn't write what the world at large might want to hear. I'm going to write what's real.
My reality.
And right at this moment, my reality isn't all that beautiful. In fact, it's rather like a harsh palace of stone and ice. I feel at war with myself, with certain people in my life...and in all honesty, I don't even know what to say.
I'm brimming over with so much confusing, and maybe a little too much hurt than I should be in this particular situation.
It's overwhelming me. And I have no outlet...not right now. Later, I will, I'm sure...but I don't need it later.
I need it now.
I feel horribly selfish and petty to even write a post like this one. I feel as though I have promised you poetry, sunshine, and summer breezes in every piece I write. And this one is truly more of an icy snowstorm of hurt and complicated emotion.
Forgive me? Please?
Maybe later this afternoon, after a bit of a good cry and losing myself in the silent embrace of the Word, I will come back and pour my beauties onto the page.
…but, for now, this is all I have...
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. ~Psalm 73:26
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~Isaiah 41:10
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| Joining in with this beautiful sisterhood on August 22nd, 2011 Expect to see more of this blessed release from time to time. Life is hard. God is good. |
