and for whatever reason, i can't sleep.
actually i know why i can't sleep.
i have lists in my head. like a tumble drier, all the things i must do and all the things i must not forget are passing back and forth and back and forth through my tired mind.
i have lists. and i am making more lists.
i leave for my best friend's wedding in a little more than 16 hours. my suitcase is gaping open on my bed right now, overflowing with too many blouses and not enough shoes. everything i need to be a maid of honour, everything that is required of me to be gone for a week.
what to pack. what to leave. what needs to be done at home. programmed coffee pots and eight loads of laundry.
i can't forget anything.
so i make lists.
today is Monday. and i have another list to continue. a list that won't make my head ache or my fingers tremble as they grip a pen.
a list that will refresh. renew. give me the grace of energy and the sweetness of sleep in one swift movement.
and so i write it now. at 12:36am.
- 119. oversized suitcases
- 120. one more late night phone call
- 121. answered prayers and gifts restored
- 122. unlocked apartment doors on days when i locked myself out
- 123. warm quilts and downy pillows that call my name at this late hour
- 124. Alex. the beautiful bride-to-be. she remains my dearest friend.
- 125. a great-grandmother that clings to life...perhaps a chance to hold her close and whisper my own goodbyes before she goes to Him
- 126. my father's laughter, robust until the humour strikes and then the squeaking and the tears and the uncontrollable joy that spreads like wildfire around our tiny ice-cream laden table
- 127. airplanes. oh, how i love to fly.
- 128. sleep. rest.
time to let the lists go and the sleep to come.
no more lists.
today is just beginning.
ah yes, i know what it's like to be kept awake because your mind is mentally making lists. tumble drier indeed. and seriously, not enough shoes? i'm always the opposite. i can never decide what tops i like enough to bring, and i always have way too many shoes that i end up not wearing. haha. i hope you have the most marvelous of trips! i'm glad you love to fly. that's always a good thing when you're going on trips. :P if i have a window seat then i usually enjoy flying. but i hate airports. they scare me for some reason. just one of those things i guess. anyway. have a great time in that sunshiny state. hopefully the weather will be perfect. :) rest up. rest your heart and your body. much love. <3
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful post! I am also a list maker. Lists and lists. And I have to agree... this list brings with it no stress no worry. Warm quilts and downy pillows that call your name... such a gift. I hope you have a chance to see your great-grandmother. #126... LOVE it! :)
ReplyDeleteHello Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and I think that it is beautiful! (Your header id lovely.)
I look forward to reading in more of your posts in the future!
Have a positively beautiful day!
In Christ,
Cassandra
Now I want to hear your father's laughter. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think you captured the angst of packing perfectly. I did this just this summer... and forgot my toiletries--all of them. Had to be in a wedding with my mother's borrowed makeup--not recommended, lol!
P.S. This is a lovely spot on the blogosphere.