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sometimes truth is harsh. not always in how it is presented, as truth can be laid out in a pattern of love that charms even the sharpest of opposition. but then there are still those who press fingers to ears and hum their childish la-la-la to block out any whisper that might make it past their tight-shut hearts.
and when He speaks and says,
tell My truth. speak this Word.
and the hate comes, the tears can flow and the heart can break.
i pray that is allowed. for it is what i have done, and now i reel in this cold reality that truth is not always sweet to the ear or tender against the heart.
sometimes it cuts, and sometimes it is too much.
and so friends can flee.
i had obeyed.
and then the flood came.
i began to lose followers. first one, then two. then ten.
i began to receive comments some were rich, laden with power. hurtful ones. sharp-toned emails from women in my life and in this world of blogging. crying out curses on me for the language i used, for the tone i set, and for my lack of pious humility.
did i not want to be a mother? was my "calling" as a wife not enough for me? am i unwilling to stay in the "bounds of Scripture"? where was my silence? my humility? my prudent tact befitting a woman of God?
of course i do.
of course it is.
but that does not mean we are less than one another.
He chose the least of these. the lesser, the outcast.
we all still crave.
i only speak what He speaks.
and this is truth amid the shatterglass.
oh, dear one.
ReplyDeletei think often of the One who said, come to me, all you who labor.
when we follow, sometimes others see our backs (because, you know, we face the Most High) and assume things that shouldn't be assumed.
gracelessness always hurts.
but the Shepherd, our tender Shepherd ... let us only have eyes for Him. "my burden is light" he says. and i ponder those words deep, let them marinate in my soul.
our burden is Light.
Light.
and in His grace, as we carry his Light
we find refuge within His shadow (ps 91).
(and do you know how close you must be, to be hidden within someone's shadow?)
seriously? oh my goodness, girl, that absolutely stuns me. i even went back and re-read the post you were talking about and i'm just floored that a combination of you and that post would generate that kind of response. the depth of your wisdom and beauty and femininity and longing for HIM just poured out of you.
ReplyDeletewho else can say what your "calling" is? who else can determine where your destiny lies? you are right that being a wife and mother is not the end-all. and for that, i am thankful! i don't understand why people must be caught up in what you're supposed to be doing, the words you're supposed to be saying, how you're supposed to be acting. Jesus' love bled so that we could be free from all that exterior stuff and simply draw near to Him. what a precious thing that is!
beyond all this, i am proud that you stand by what you say. and i can understand your hurt and frustration. i have been there. lost lifelong friends because of truths i thought i was supposed to share. and you never imagine truth will render those types of consequences...the loss of what were once though to be the deepest, truest, most lasting of friendship. it does burn. but after tasting truth, what other option do you have?
once again, i am proud of you. and i stand behind you and your womanhood, whatever that may look like for you.
love you, girl <3 i'm praying for you.
you're right, sweetness. truth is sometimes very hard to tell. because sometimes it isn't what people want to hear. look how many people rejected our Savior when He proclaimed His truth. and yet, even though He knows the difficulties of it, He still says that He desires truth in the inward parts. keep proclaiming, dearheart. and i promise you, He brings blessing to those who do what is right. even when it's hard. stay strong, lovie. i admire you so much.
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