Never Obliviate {Spoilers}

"...and you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end." ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


I don't even know where to begin right now.

I'm still emotionally overwhelmed. I am full of magic.

I know that I don't normally do "play-by-play" posts, but I think for this, I will make an exception.

Arriving at the theater at 10pm put my friends and I right in the center of a madhouse of costumed fans. The fandom was intense and beautiful.

There was a Malfoy lookalike...same blonde hair, same facial shape, same wardrobe, and same excessive attractiveness...along with Lucius, Bellatrix, Dobby, and a small Death Eater.

There was an enormous Hagrid, a devilishly handsome Sirius, a witty and outlandish Rita Skeeter, three plumply pink and cat-laden Umbridges, and numerous escapees from Azkaban Prison. There was even a pig-nosed Tonks look-a-like with hot purple hair and long beautiful robes.

And there are photographs galore to prove it, which will be coming soon.

Amid my party, there were two Slytherins, a Hufflepuff, five Gryffindors, and a Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw mix, as well as my Bellatrix'd costumed self...but I count myself among the Gryffindors, for that is my house and my home.

After two hours of laughing, photographing, and general all-around giddiness, we went our separate ways into our respective theaters. The previews seemed to drag forever. Even the sneak peak at The Dark Knight Rising seemed to do nothing but annoy as our hearts began to beat faster with anticipation.

Finally, the theater went dark.

The grey stone WB logo appeared on the screen.

Tears began to trickle their way down my face.

Barely fifteen minutes had passed before I, my friends, and the rest of the fully sold out theater were sobbing as though our hearts would break.

Professor Minerva McGonagal raised her wand and the war began. My heart began to throb.

Snape gasped out "you have your mother's eyes." I sobbed.

Ron and Hermoine shared a kiss fourteen years in the making. There are no words for the way my heart leapt.

Fred's pale form lay still and dead on the Hogworts commonroom floor. I wailed.

The bodies of Lupin and Tonks lay together without a breath, fingers barely brushing, blood on their faces. That is "til death do us part."

The battle was waged. Lives were lost.

Snape cradled the slain form of Lily Potter to his chest and wailed in anguish. I joined with him.

The doe Patronus leapt, and the ghostly forms of Sirius, Lily, James, and Lupin gave Harry the courage to do what must be done.

Bellatrix was slain by a gleeful Molly Weasley. I cheered.

A now exceptionally-attractive Neville severed the serpent's head. I could not speak for weeping.

Voldemort was defeated and scattered to the wind. I raised my hands and cried with joy.

The credits rolled. I screamed and cheered and clapped until my eyes, throat, and hands were sore.

My emotions are beyond my comprehension.

The end of an era.

Seven books.

Eight movies.

Fourteen years.

Three Kleenexes.

Thank you, J.K. Rowling, for my magical childhood...

...and for my continuous magical adulthood.

For I will never Obliviate. 


I will never forget.

When I am 80 years old, I will be sitting in my rocking chair reading Harry Potter. And my family will laugh and say, "still?"

And I will say...

..."Always."

"It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Remember that." ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone


"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." ~J.K. Rowling

Patronus

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.  ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone


It's here. 


It feels so foreign...like it's almost too impossible of an idea to actually be real. 


But it's here. 


Tomorrow afternoon, I will gather my beautiful and precious collection of jewelry...


...my long black skirt and my flowing black blouse...


...my carefully hand-crafted wand...


...and I will begin the preparations for my final Harry Potter premiere. 


I feel like I'm going to a celebration and a funeral, all at once. 


This world is more than paper and ink. It's flesh and blood.


J.K. Rowling did more than simply pen seven epic novels. She laid bricks and stone upon one another, and sealed them with mortar. She built towers, and invented lives. She composed another world.  


It seems strange that my children will never have this new anticipation...never fiddle with their ticket or anxiously await their Hogwarts acceptance letter. 


Of course, I will never let this magic die. 


This is not the end.


It is the end of an era, but the beginning of an age. 


Seven books. 


Eight movies. 


Fourteen years. 


Tomorrow night...

...at 12:15am...

...I will slip between the wall at Platform 9 3/4 and board the Hogwarts Express for the last time. 

I will cheer as Patronuses are conjured and battles are waged...I will watch Harry and those whom he has walked this road enter Gringots and burst out on the back of a dragon.

I will weep as friends slip from this life into the next...I will watch death upon death in the name of freedom. 

I will watch the darkness be broken, and the Boy Who Lived will live again. 

I will watch my youth come to an end. 

And at the very last moment, as the credit roll in tandem with the tears coursing their way down my cheeks... 

I will raise my hand to the sky, and cry at the top of my voice...

Mischief Managed.

Thank you, Harry. 

Thank you, Ron and Hermoine. 

Thank you, Dumbledore. 

Thank you, Order of the Pheonix. 

Thank you Leigh from PrettyLittleCharmsUK for feeding my Harry Potter jewelry obsession with the most stunning pieces in the known universe, both magical and Muggle. 

Thank you, Luna and Ginny and Neville and Fred and George and Sirius.

Thank you, J.K. Rowling. 

Thank you for 14 years of magic. 

Thank you for my childhood. 

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Sirius

...know this; the ones that love us never really leave us. And you can always find them in [your heart]. ~Sirius Black, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban 

Everyone has a favourite character...everyone has someone who stands out, inspires them, and tugs at their heart more than the others. 

Tonight, I am contemplating the life of my favorite "good" character, taken from the ink-lined paper world of magic and wizardry. 

Yes, I laugh and weep with the Twins...find my own self in Hermoine's bookish elegance...smile as Luna's oddities line up so well with my own...allow my heart to dwell on how Neville's awkward charm will never cease to make me smile.

Sirius Black.

Beloved friend to James and Lily Potter. 

The dark-furred Padfoot to the charismatic Marauder quartet, along with Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs. 

Animangus. 

Member of the Order of the Phoenix. 

Godfather and legal guardian to Harry Potter. 

Murdered by Bellatrix LaStrange on June 18th, 1996. 

And of them all, he is my the one that captivates me the most. 

Honestly, I believe I am drawn to the underdog...and please forgive my pun in regards to Siruis' canine attributes.

Redeemed from traitor to savior...the one accused, and the one to expose the true betrayal, and set the mouse to running...again, pardon my pun. 

He was also the first of them all to fall.

I still remember the way my heart wailed as the spell left Bellatrix's vile lips...almost as though it was too horrible to be true.

A hero fell. 

But not in vain.

And so, on the day when the world ends and begins again...

...at 12:15am on July 15th, 201...

...I will sit in the theater with the Deathly Hallows drawn on my left hand

and Sirius on my right.

"Sirius was a brave, clever, and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger." ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Gryffindor

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart.

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart. ~The Sorting Hat, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 

Seven days left. 

July 15th, 2011

12:15am, CST.

The world ends and begins.

The boy who lived will finish his journey. 

And I am going to lose my mind...

...or, at the very least, do a rather copious amount of crying.

To be honest, that day is going to be a whirlwind of emotions for this Gryffindor. 

We've been with Harry since the very beginning. 

We've seen cupboards under the stairs turn into pokey upper bedrooms... 

...we've ridden the hippogriff, soared with the Hungarian Horntail, and danced at the Yule Ball...

...we've wept at so much death -- James and Lily, Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, and Dobby -- and we know that there is more to come...

...we've whispered how we are up to no good, and how our mischief is managed...

...we knew before the Ministry of Magic would admit it -- You-Know-Who is back, and our lives will never be the same again...

...we've wrapped our fingers around the wood of our wands, marveling in our favorite spells and learning how to discover our own Patronus...

...we've fallen in love, had our heart's broken, and watched relationships bloom from silly children to young, intentioned adults.

We've grown with the Gryffindors.

And now...the end is fast approaching. 

The boy who lived will live and die and live again.

   

And my childhood will slip into the sunset. 

Harry Potter. Hermoine Granger. Ronald Weasley.

Seven books. Eight movies. 

Seven years.... 

...with seven days to go. 

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban 

Time-Turner

It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.  ~J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


Time is a funny thing. 


It can move as slowly or as quickly as it wants, depending on your own hopes and wishes...


...and yet, it is so entirely reliable all at the same time. Things repeat themselves in the most calm and reassuring cycle. Dates and times moving forward and yet circling in a gradual loop. 


365 days in a year. 28-31 days in a month. 7 days in a week. 


But I will admit...sometimes, I wish I could make time move as I chose. 


I wish I could borrow Hermione's Time-Turner. 


I wish I could freeze moments in time...those moments that make you feel more alive than you've ever felt in your life...your skin afire and your breath tingling like electricity in your lungs. 


I wish I could speed up certain events...passing through the heartbreak of the current moments, silencing the inner struggles and casting away the Dementors in my own mind as easily as though I wielded the power of the Patronus. 


I wish I could rewind...go back to moments in my past and fix them...make different decisions and not act like such a foolish child, and maybe save myself some pain and heartache in the long run. 


But then I realize...what purpose would that serve?


What would I learn if I change my past?


What would it serve to me to feel nothing of pain or sorrow...what growth would I obtain?


And if certain moments were frozen and repeatable, what sort of precious would they be? Would they not fade into something trivial and empty, nothing to be rejoiced it at all? 


As much as I envy Hermoine her Time-Turner...


...I do think that I shall live in the present 


and savor my own moments 


as they occur. 


"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew 6:34