warring stillness

{via pinterest}

the Lord will fight for you. you need only be still. 

~exodus 14:14

i found my calm this morning.

for a while, i thought i had left it amid hot glue guns and satin ribbons and sand-covered programs, all tumbled together on the other side of the United States. 

the chaos of this entire past week was a breathtaking, beautiful rush akin only to the crash of a salty ocean wave. it swept me under in a glorious swell.

but then i found myself tossed ashore and breathless again. 

this mantra of Love that i have chanted for a week is pounding into my head like a oceanic roar, perhaps to the point of being numbing.

if i'm not careful, i could lose myself in this battle. i feel the hilt of my own sword of self digging into my palms. this fight i'm carrying alone...the one i forbid those i love to undertake with me. 

{via pinterest}

i can do this myself. 

i can be strong. 

i promise i can. 

but then i awoke this morning. a strange feeling mixed with the tension that i have and yet still carry atop my shoulders.

i'm still tense. i'm still overwhelmed. but i have found a scrap of calm amid this noise. 

perhaps it is the unstopping of my own ears...letting the chaos trickle out and the silence replace the gaps. 

and so now i will sit and let my Lord fight. my sword is down and my fingers, ringing with battle clash, are shaking with the rest that comes after the storm. 

and i will be still now.

i will drop my trembling fingers to brush against my denim-clad legs and breathe slowly again. 

inhale. 

exhale. 

repeat to survive. 

now let go and fall

into His stillness.  

{linking this imperfection with emily today}

Still

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Life is complicated.

There are so many things that play into every day life, even those things that we primarily take for granted.

...even when we don't notice, things are complex.

It takes more than just the passing of time -- the turning of moments into years -- for someone to mature.

It takes the rain. The heat. The storms. The pressure. The pruning. The pain.

These things are not always realities that are easy for us to grasp. We want things to fall into place without any work or discomfort. We just want everything to be perfect right away.

And so we push away the pain. We shy away from anything that could possibly be the slightest bit uncomfortable...that might be hard.

We shut down the growth.

We settle into a pool of stagnant water...unmoving and unchanging. It may seem still and serene for the moment, but it eventually grows foul and rank, filled with impurities that cannot be swept away.

The foulness is trapped...we are imprisoned by our own good intentions.

...except Him.

...we hit rock bottom.

Sometimes, even the little things like breathing are almost too much to handle.

So many times, it feels like the entire ground is just shaking...nothing is standing still...

Sometimes, all you can do is reach up and take His hand, trusting Him to not let go.

I promise you -- He never lets go.

The world is unsteady sometimes.

He never moves.

When my world is shaking, Heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands. ~Your Hands, JJ Heller