Saturday, June 5, 2010


This afternoon, while my husband was working on his truck, I watched the movie Young Victoria -- a movie on the younger years of the English monarch, Queen Victoria.

This woman was amazing.

So much of her life was ruled by her overly-fearful mother; she was not allowed to play with other children, or even walk down the stairs by herself. As she herself wrote in her private diaries, the palace was more a beautifully crafted prison to her.

Not even two months after she turned 18, William IV died, making Victoria the queen. She endured criticism, political uproar, and economical crises with elegant grace and decorum. She died at the age of 81, after ruling over England for 63 years -- the longest reigning English ruler to date.

When the movie ended, I sat on the bed, contemplating this incredible woman. Through all that hardships and trials, she became a strong, beautiful queen who ruled England and became a legend all around the world.

Can I be such a woman? Can I look back over the past years of my life -- the numerous struggles, the family trials, the many nights of bitter tears, the sleepless nights filled with worry -- and allow them to grow me?

There are times when I feel so very alone. The struggles that my friends are enduring, as well as my own agonizing personal issues, wear at me and leave me feeling abandoned and alone. But it is then when God brings my life verse to my mind: Isaiah 43:2-3

When you pass through the rivers, I will be with you. And when you walk through the waters, they will not sweep over you. And when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, Your God, the Holy One of Israel, Your Savior!

I am not Queen Victoria.

I don't have to be.


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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon