growing

five minute fridays. we write for five, and only five, minutes. no editing, no overthinking, no backtracking. linking up with the gypsy mama.

the word

GROWING

now GO...

how fitting that this would come today.

today i am 21. 


as of my waking, i am another year old.


it feels like the strangest of emotions all wrapped up into a simple time frame of 24 hours. 

but today this step has been made, whether i wanted it to come or not.

i'm in the eternal process of aging. but what about growing?

am i growing? i suppose it depends on what you mean by growing. i stopped physically growing at the age of 14 and have not risen an inch in height since then.

i suppose that makes me feel small. 

no, not suppose. it does.

honestly, it's hard to feel super confidence at a minuscule 5'0. 

{photo by PinkStudios Photography}

but that's not what matters, is it?

it's not the height or weight or eye colour or the consistency of my hair that makes me grow.

it's this heart of mine. this soul that aches and craves and sings out the strangest of songs as i learn and figure things out for myself. 

i'm growing on my own. maybe it's the life circumstances which i have endured at a very young age. those things mature you, they say.

or maybe it's just the lifting of my King. the turning of His weights, gentle and tender, speaking

grow

to my little seedling heart. 

in Him, it's okay to still be growing. this tiny work in progress.

21 and still growing. 

{photo shoot ~ 21}

tomorrow i turn 21. it's almost impossible to believe.

for my birthday gift, my amazing photographer-sister {Abby of PinkStudios Photography}did a photoshoot of me.

the results?

 1. i have strange ideals of beauty. i generally never wear makeup or really do any sort of fashionable shopping. it takes my sister a lot of convincing to get me to put on something super stylish or wear more than mascara and lipgloss. also, i'm continuously in the same pair of flip-flops from March to about mid-November {or until it snows}.  

2. i have dreamed my entire life of being the first plus-sized "mini-model" to be on America's Next Top Model. but then again, i realized how much that would change me. and so that dream died. but somehow, i think i'm okay with that now. i can change the world from my little corner. right here. ordinary me.

3. i dream in black and white with only the occasional pop of colour. seriously, it's like an old noir film in my head 24/7.

4. my sister and i never dreamed of being artists. we never saw ourselves here when we were kids. and now we're living out dreams we never even knew we had.

 and so this is me.
turning 21 tomorrow.

i promise a post of more sustenance with my dwellings on the day tomorrow.

but for now

picture this.