Showing posts with label kiss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kiss. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Coffee

This morning, I had my first cup of coffee in a very long time. It was like getting reacquainted with an old friend.

I don't know exactly what is it about a cup of steaming java, but there's something so soothing and familiar about the feeling of the ceramic cup in your hand.

...the fragrant steam floating up from the mug, brushing its warm fingers against your nose.

...the sharp, smooth flavor of that first, perfect sip.

It's comforting, at any season of life.

There are so many "coffee-flavored" aspects of life. Perfectly simple, and yet essential. Somehow, they end up filed under "forgotten wonder," and their existence fades into a misty sort of consciousness until they eventually disappear altogether.


It's the simple, seemingly insignificant things -- beautiful things that we tend to overlook until we realize that they've disappeared and we want them back in our lives again...

...that little ray of sunlight that breaks through the window each morning to dance on the pillow and whisper secrets in your eyes.



Monday, July 19, 2010

Real

I have OWD. Obsessive-writer disorder. It's a fact.

I will spend hours staring at the same blank page, racking my brain for something to write. And it can't be just any old nonsensical idea. It has to be perfect. Flowing. Grammatically correct. Poetic, while still being real. Tonight alone, I have started and erased about ten different blog posts.

Why?

...so many reasons.

I have people that read my blog that don't even know me. All they have are these words, sporadically typed up and published by a nineteen year old wanna-be writer who's nuts about Jesus Christ, cares too much, loves until she's got nothing left, and might just be a little be insane.

And honestly, I was at the point tonight when I didn't even know if I was gonna even write anything worth publishing. Again.

But then, I got to thinking.

There's about five people in my life who know me on an extremely intimate and personal level. They've seen the beauty, the ugliness, the tears, the heartbreak: my husband, my parents, my sister, and my two best friends. And every single one of them has told me at one point or another that I mean the world to them...just they way I am.

Last night, my husband kissed me in the grocery store parking lot for no reason whatsoever. He just grabbed me, put his arms around me, and kissed me. We've been kissing one another for almost two years; the kiss itself wasn't uncommon. But there was something about that innocent kiss that made my eyes well up. Jon has endured a lot in the 2 1/2 years that we've been together, and even more since in our 9 months of marriage. And even after the fights, the pink socks, the late dinners, and the lack of blankets, he still loves me enough to sweep me off my feet and remind me of just how much he loves me.

So now, I've decided. No more over-scrutinizing. No more self-degradation.

I'm done.

I'm going to be real. I'm going to shoot straight. I'm not going to worry about being the world's best blogger, or the most perfect writer. I'm not going to hide any more.

I'm tossing my mask on the rubbish heap.

I'm going to be me.

Girl, 19. In love with and sold out for Jesus Christ.
Madly in love with the man who stole my heart and made me his bride.

Artistic, emotional.

Loving hard, caring deeply, heart on my sleeve.

Blessed with two of the most amazing parents and sweet-hearted sister in this world.

Has two incredible best friends, and a whole host of remarkable friends who make my world shine.

Slightly insane, but that's okay.

Because that's me.