Sunday, March 2, 2014

me, a Jesus feminist {the becoming}

when my friend Sarah Bessey wrote a book, I clicked pre-order the minute the button turned green. after this was done, I sat on my couch and cried. the tears were desperately needed. there was freedom twenty years in the making behind that click.

the name of the book was Jesus Feminist.

it arrived on my doorstep on November 6th, this yellow book with the big black letters, the symbol for femininity right next to the symbol of my faith. I opened the book, and my eyes found the first line of the first chapter :: Jesus made a feminist out of me. and something inside me gasped like a man drawn out of the ocean.

it was an answer to everything that had been brewing inside me since the moment I realized that Jesus Christ didn't see me as less because I was a woman. 

when you grow up a woman in the conservative Church, it's hard to feel like you have big things inside. it's not always intentional, sometimes you don't even realize that it's happening. but it's easy to fall into the idea that since your body curves where a man's does not, that since your pronouns are she and her, you were birthed to be a stumbling block.

somehow it got put into our heads that feminism was the opposite of appropriate femininity. somehow the word became trampled and twisted underfoot until it stopped being recognizable as anything but ugly. 

but it's begun to occur to me that He spoke "woman" when everyone else was crying "girl," not as a word of derision or as a caustic word spit out in the direction of the "weaker sex," but as a badge of honour. He touched us when others shied away. His words of "follow Me" fell on female ears as well as male. there was no line in the sand with the Son of God.

{photo by me}
“we reject the lies of inequality, we affirm the Spirit, we forgive radically, we advocate for love and demonstrate it by folding laundry, and we live these Kingdom ways of shalom prophetically in the world.” 
Sarah Bessey :: Jesus Feminist


I find myself leaning against my husband more these days when we sit on the couch, tentatively asking if he approves of this new wild me, this new feminist wife, so different from the one who cried during her wedding vows, and yet, so completely the same. and he's supportive in every way he can be, even if sometimes it's just a hand on my arm or a kiss on the side of my head in the silence past midnight. 

and so here we are, standing on the other side of a book that changed the way I see the other Book that has been in my grasp since the days of pattered Bible covers and sword drills. I'm standing here on the beach while the Son of Man makes breakfast for all the ones who follow after Him, male and female alike. 

Sarah's book opened my eyes. but this Jesus Christ, this Prince of Peace and Word Made Flesh.

He's the one that made a Jesus Feminist out of me. 

17 comments:

  1. Sounds like I need to get that book! How subtle those messages in church were to me.

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    1. oh dear Jana, this book changed my life. you need it in your life in such a big way. so so glad that you found me here. <3

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  2. Rachel, my luv, this brings tears to my eyes and gladness to my heart. Holding you close here. Thank you for every word of this and for the bravery it took to write it all down. Love to you. xo

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    1. completely undone at your witness, beloved Sarah.

      love you so. <3

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  3. "Somehow the word became trampled and twisted under foot" -- yes it did, and when I was growing up, and especially in college, it was such a pejorative that I was quick to lessen the amount of affiliation I had to feminism, even though I was more and more becoming convinced that Jesus would agree with the root of it. The traction this book is getting and the conversation it sparks are so good for us. I'm so glad that you found the courage to give voice to this today.

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    1. all of this is such a huge yes for me.

      He not only agrees with the root of it, but I firmly believe that He is the founder of the feminist movement.

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  4. Thank you for beautiful words that inspire all of us to be open to the God-given gifts we each possess, and to not be afraid or ashamed of who we are.

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    1. your witness blesses me beyond measure, Kimberly.

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  5. no line in the sand. damn straight!

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  6. "when you grow up a woman in the conservative Church, it's hard to feel like you have big things inside."

    Yep, I understand that exactly. That's how I grew up, and that's where many of my friends still are. But now that I'm a Jesus feminist myself, I find so much more freedom, so much room for big things to grow and be let out, so much GRACE for everybody. And I haven't even read Sarah's book yet--it's on my list!

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    1. "so much room for big things to grow."

      those big things, His fingerprints on your heart...that is what makes you a wild feminist, even without ever having read the book. SO glad that it's on your list, though.

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  7. Oh how I savoured every drop of love and affirmation coming from that book. There's no need to sit at the table, Come outside, there are so many of us out there;) ... Praise HIM

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  8. "But it's begun to occur to me that He spoke "woman" when everyone else was crying "girl," not as a word of derision or as a caustic word spit out in the direction of the "weaker sex," but as a badge of honour. He touched us when others shied away. His words of "follow Me" fell on female ears as well as male. there was no line in the sand with the Son of God." - Yes! Yes! Yes!

    I'm so happy to hear that you you are finding yourself, your voice, and a new liberating way to experience Jesus Christ and the Scriptures. And it is so wonderful to hear that you have a husband who stands by your side during this transformation. Though I grew up in a progressive church with a woman head pastor, my experience in my college campus ministry was similar to your upbringing. And though my family and church back at home had helped affirm and encouraged my call into ministry while I was in high school, I began to loose my voice, sense of self worth and adequacy, and I denied my calling into ministry for several years because I was told by so many others that I couldn't be a pastor because of my gender. This carried out into my first marriage to my college sweet-heart I met in my college ministry, who was not able to stand by me and fully support me when I continued to not only feel called into ministry, but also felt our marriage should be an egalitarian one rather than the male-dominated one it was functioning as.

    Because of my own painful experiences, I feel so much pain when I hear others have similar dehumanizing experiences. And yet, I am also so happy to know that you are now being liberated from that captivity! Many blessings to you as you continue to find your voice and use it!

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  9. Rachel, while I do not claim to be a feminist (I do not agree with the movement as a whole) I do believe that women who follow Christ are the strongest women there are, and that said, I think this post was amazing. You are a fantastic writer and you made a great point. Jesus elevated women in a culture that demeaned them, and he values women today. Thanks for the great read.

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  10. I haven't read it yet. If you could summarize it what would that be? Is it the validation of dreams inside of me?

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  11. Dear Rachel,

    I have seen this Christian feminist movement on the rise for awhile, and I am writing you because I have felt kind of put off by it.

    I do understand the historical perspective of why it is has happened, and I also understand that Jesus was quite the revolutionary when it came to the worth and value of women (I wrote a whole research paper on it for a class!) What I have a hard time with is that I feel the movement is contradictory and hypocritical. Women have been hurt by men because they have been ostracized for their sex. We have cried out to be seen as equal, to be united. And yet, after having been separated for so many years, women are doing the exact same thing by creating a movement that does not focus on uniting the sexes, but instead, on separating themselves. While I understand that may not be the purpose, it often appears to be that way. The term "feminism" alone caters to women. And while I completely support building up women in their worth, but we are not just valuable to God because we are women...we are valuable to God because we are HUMAN--same as men. in addition, i have personally witnessed men being put off from the church because of this focus on feminism. and in Galatians, Paul said, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, nor slave nor free, nor male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

    so i guess, the reason i'm writing is because i want to understand the purpose of the movement. it stands to support and lift up women, but how does it stand to unite the body of Christ? in my (limited) perceptions of the movement, it only appears to further divide...especially in regard to that particular Galatians scripture i shared above. i would truly love to know your perspective.

    --Charla

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon