revelation :: i am seeker

{via pinterest}

i've been pondering myself lately. and there's been a lot of poetry, and a lot of searching deep within myself, and such a journey to the mountain. and i found myself among the proverbial pine trees searching for the illusive spark.

and honestly, i'm terrified of this new place that He is calling me toward, stepping one toe in front of the other with my heart thudding louder than any tribal drum and the murmur of the Holy One at my ear

courage, dearheart

for I have overcome

because it was someone dear to my soul that chided all those months ago that not everything can be sacred, and i'm trying too hard to find something that isn't there, and what am i trying to prove anyway?

so it was with shaking trepidation that i found myself one week ago with fingers uncurled and eyes closed and breathing so deeply into my soul. i pressed my palms on the hardwood floor of the yoga studio and curled my toes on the mat and heard my heart whisper low, i am home here.

and i caught myself hesitating to open my heart and strike match to flint and touch flame to wick so that the warm Light beams through every corner, the way He-Who-Sees-Me does in that moment when the dark night of the soul threatens to swallow you whole.

i've written before about the Lion's song, the melodic mantra that blends with my heart's cry to form that strangest sweetest music. and He and i whisper it together under the moon, our own version of the precious breathing that leaves our lungs in a musical hum. it's an om of a different kind, His and mine, one we carved together out of crystals and tears and His own blood poured out when Death fell beneath His feet.

and even as they scorn, i'm putting down roots.

{photograph of myself, courtesy of  nikki jean photography}

:: because i don't want to lose the mystery 

that comes when One is Three, and to die is to Live, and how darkness melts like candle wax in the Light. and i am a seeker, captivated by the moon as she changes and finding myself moving with her in the oddest and most glorious of dances.

i'm not done yet, i am just beginning.

and i am seeker, journeyer, gypsy soul afire.

feather-haired braveheart, i am.
His lioness, i am.

I AM's, i am.

day of rest

{via pinterest}

you know that music player at the bottom of the page?

please, scroll down and turn it off.

and then come back to this video. turn off the television, the music. shut out the distractions and draw the Word of the Lord into your lap.

God cannot give us peace and rest outside of Himself

:: there is no such thing.

// c.s. lewis

soak in this meditation, lose yourself in the blessing of His grace and goodness, His glory and His salvation.

we have lost this concept, this burning need for a day of rest that comes with the start of a week. fresh with no mistakes, a new hour to breathe and learn and draw so much in to our weary souls.

do not be afraid of rest. instead, lose yourself in the sacredness of this.

:: // :: // ::

why do you complain, Jacob? why do you say, Israel, “my way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? 

do you not know? have you not heard? the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 

even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

:: isaiah 40:27-31 ::

⁷ 

// hallelujah, You have won the victory //

:: ::

// hallelujah, You have won it all for me //

{one thousand thanks to rain for bringing this meditation to my attention}

meditate

{via the sacred life}

yesterday, i wrote about how i need to learn to rest.
today, i can't.

because i'm sicker than i was yesterday, and my head is full of a pounding like tribal drums but much less beautiful and far more painful.

and i spent an entire night tossing and turning against a pillow tower and sneezing through a swirling patterned box of Puffs.

but lack of sleep has given me time to think. time to reflect and meditate, even on this word itself.

:: meditate ::


because it all goes back to be still and know, as i sit with patchwork quilts draped over always bare toes and the twisting swirl of fragrant tea steam slowly fill the air with soothing.

and i let the television sound fade to a mumble and the music to a background whisper. 

:: and i meditate ::

maybe not with crossed legs and crooning chants of syllables repeated. today i find my peace with candleflame flickering and a bowl of chicken noodle soup.

why have we pushed meditation out of our faith circle? when did we stop allowing peace into our hearts?

{via pinterest}

one thing I have asked from the Lord, 
that i shall seek: 

that i may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, 

to behold the beauty of the Lord

and to meditate in His temple.

:: psalm 27:4 ::

it's when we open. it's when we refuse to close, no matter the hour. when we are unafraid to shiver in glory, and when the scared becomes the sacred. we stop looking at the mirror that seems so ground, and we turn our gaze inward, upward. 

when we stop and inhale. when we became brave to approach, to contemplate this thing of so much boldness and so much peace all at once. 

i'm embracing Him, i'm inhaling glory.

i'm meditating.