Sunday, June 9, 2013

revelation :: i am seeker

{via pinterest}
i've been pondering myself lately. and there's been a lot of poetry, and a lot of searching deep within myself, and such a journey to the mountain. and i found myself among the proverbial pine trees searching for the illusive spark.

and honestly, i'm terrified of this new place that He is calling me toward, stepping one toe in front of the other with my heart thudding louder than any tribal drum and the murmur of the Holy One at my ear

courage, dearheart
for I have overcome

because it was someone dear to my soul that chided all those months ago that not everything can be sacred, and i'm trying too hard to find something that isn't there, and what am i trying to prove anyway?

so it was with shaking trepidation that i found myself one week ago with fingers uncurled and eyes closed and breathing so deeply into my soul. i pressed my palms on the hardwood floor of the yoga studio and curled my toes on the mat and heard my heart whisper low, i am home here.

and i caught myself hesitating to open my heart and strike match to flint and touch flame to wick so that the warm Light beams through every corner, the way He-Who-Sees-Me does in that moment when the dark night of the soul threatens to swallow you whole.

i've written before about the Lion's song, the melodic mantra that blends with my heart's cry to form that strangest sweetest music. and He and i whisper it together under the moon, our own version of the precious breathing that leaves our lungs in a musical hum. it's an om of a different kind, His and mine, one we carved together out of crystals and tears and His own blood poured out when Death fell beneath His feet.

and even as they scorn, i'm putting down roots.

{photograph of myself, courtesy of  nikki jean photography}
:: because i don't want to lose the mystery 

that comes when One is Three, and to die is to Live, and how darkness melts like candle wax in the Light. and i am a seeker, captivated by the moon as she changes and finding myself moving with her in the oddest and most glorious of dances.

i'm not done yet, i am just beginning.

and i am seeker, journeyer, gypsy soul afire.

feather-haired braveheart, i am.
His lioness, i am.

I AM's, i am.


  1. Beautiful thoughts. Much to ponder.
    Have a nice week.

  2. i love this. especially your last 4 words. so beautiful, so much true. thank you for your raw vulnerability. such tender words you write. <3

  3. it is a good thing when he calls you to things that scare you...
    you are on the right track then...and the strength with which you
    speak in the end...and understanding your identity...
    it will carry you through...

  4. such beautiful words. Thank you for sharing your soul.


  5. I AM's i am...I LOVE that! And your writing is poetic and ethereal, as if sprinkled with fairy dust from on high. Keep pondering the One who made you and keep on being YOU no matter what anyone says. I am convinced that God works in us uniquely! Blessings...

  6. I especially loved the beautiful way you ended this post. What a poetic post.. thank you for the joy of reading it!

  7. "I'm not done yet. I am just beginning." Love this. (visiting...I'm your neighbor over at SDG today)


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon