I remember... there was mist. Swirling mist upon a vast glassy lake... There were candles all around, and on the lake there was a boat... And in the boat, there was a man. Who was that shape in the shadows? Whose is that face in the mask? ~Phantom of the OperaEvery one of us is chasing a phantom.
A masked, hidden part of ourselves that is locked away behind some elegantly created facade in which we seek to find a more absolute answer to the questions burning within us.
For some, this phantom is love. The ache to be accepted and adored just as they are...the ability to be honest and free, to feel the arms of someone around them when the moon hides behind the clouds and nightmares invade.
Perhaps it is an escape from loneliness and the fear of never being needed by anyone, spending the rest of one's days with only mocking photographs and painful scars as companions...
...or a sort of monetary stability where the worries of tomorrow fade into a blackness of foolish trivialities.
My own phantom is a burning need to know. A need to discover what there is about me that makes me special...unique...different. What would make someone want to be with me, to know more about me than just my name and what colors are my favorites? Is this surmised uniqueness even true?
These phantoms have fingers of fire that brush ours cheeks with a burning flash of ice...a voice of whispering doubt that echoes in the darkness of starless midnights. These demons haunt our minds and plague our souls with their poisonous beauty and razor-sharp comfort.
It is in these moments of solitary darkness and overcoming despair that we grasp our Light and face the blackness boldly. We face our phantoms with Truth, revealing their mysterious sort of beauty as nothing more than skeletal monsters, teeth bared to rip out our hearts.
We call them as they are: Deception, Fear, Shame, Faithless.
...turn from them. Run to the One who is Faithful, True, Honor, and who Endures Forever.
He is no phantom.
He is real.
"He has redeemed my soul from the [dark] pit; and my life shall see the light." ~Job 33:28
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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon