It is now 2011.
Wow.
For me, this is almost impossible to believe. I feel as if I blinked and have passed from January to January without hardly a second thought.
Did last year leave me behind?
To be honest, however, 2010 was a year of a lot of changes for me...many of which were beyond fantastic.
I reconnected with an amazing old friend after almost two years of silence, and found myself in a brand-new friendship that picked up as if things had never left off and has radically changed my life.
God answered my prayer for a female best friend, and I have never been more blessed to have her in my life as a sister and warrior on this road together.
I celebrated a landmark -- one year of marriage to my incredible husband, which still continues to blow my mind and delight my soul.
I met amazing people who have loved me and changed me for the better.
I started this blog, which has been a dream of mine, and was a resolution for 2010 that I actually saw through to fruition.
The blessings that have been heaped upon me still blow my mind and draw me to my knees time and time again.
However, this year has also been one of the hardest of my life. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I lost precious friends for one reason or another -- some because of serious issues, and others over trivialities that I wish I could take back. My heart has broken almost to the point of bleeding -- both for myself and for those I love.
I have made so many mistakes...I look back at certain points over the past year and I weep with the utter shame of it all. In all honesty, there were so many points when I just wanted to give up...to give in to my own insecurities and lack of strength and simply let the world slip through my fingers.
But it takes the bad with the good to give me a reason to step forward.
If this past year had been nothing but good things -- perfect blue skies without a single thunderstorm, how then would I have grown?
It takes fire to refine the dross away from silver; it takes lightning and thunder for crops to grow.
The hands of the clock keep ticking by.
Soon enough, 2012 will be upon us. But that is the future.
2009 is gone.
2010 is gone.
The past is over and buried under the blood of the One who looked from moment to moment and decided that I was worth His ultimate sacrifice.
And so, this year, I begin with only one resolution.
To grow.
To climb further up and further in.
To find my footing in Jesus Christ instead of myself...to allow myself to reach out and take His nail-scarred hand...
...to rise and rise again.
So here's to love and loss, to tears and joys, to passions and disappointments.
To growth and to journeys.
To becoming more like Him.
Here's to fresh starts and new beginnings.
Here's to 2011.
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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon