Friday, March 16, 2012

love thyself

{via pinterest}
there's a lot of things we're forbidden to do in this life.

as Christians.
as women.
as breathers.

and it's confusing sometimes. the world whispers love thyself to the broken ones, and then the woman who just learned to love herself is covered in whispers and pointed fingers and lowered glances.

then it's broken all over again and the slices are deeper the second time around.

it is too far a step to say that my Jesus weeps when broken ones break again, especially in His house? He's the one that said come to Me, heavyladen ones. for My burden is light...

this makes me want to stomp the ground until my bruised feet bleed and sob for the unborn one dancing against my skin at night. because in barely a breath's time, i will pass a life through fire and water and blood into this world, and this small life will inhale a world that already is out to destroy.

and my little one will grow into this place of love to hate and love again turned to shredded paper scraps of hate that used to spell a love letter from Heaven to parched ground Earth.

and what they will teach my daughter is clucking tongues and judgemental glares if she doesn't quite fit the mold that my Jesus has already stomped into shards of blood-covered glass the day He spread two arms wide and wailed it is finished.
{via pinterest}

and my son will learn from the school of bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks that gentlemen are dead and gone, and men are fighters and not lovers and silently seated when they should be standing on the chairs and beating the pulse of love and respect.

this breaks me down into a pool for my unborn one, for his wife or her husband, and for the ones that came before and the ones that come after.

i want my child to have the words of precious Sarah as their heartbeat rhythm, that i will one day no longer teach but they will live.

we are thumping along with you, out here in the world [soon], reminding you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. 
and you have a voice and a reason for being. you have a future and a hope. 
know who you are, small [one], and when you forget, we'll remind you.
:: in which i write a letter... // sarah styles bessey :: 

and so i will find my place on my knees tonight, with the music playing in the background and the candles flickering around the darkened midnight room. heartbeat thudding love yourself, little one. 

because i love you. 
and He does too. 


  1. This is powerful.
    What a gift to give your child, Rachel.
    And your voice, here. So ancient and majestic and (ma)(e)ternal.
    Much love and many blessings to you

  2. beautiful. Keep these words through out their years. You will need to remind, but have taught these truths womb deep.

  3. rachel, i just read this to my mom, and you got a solid amen every sentence. you have such a talent for touching souls with your writing! your daughters and sons will read these words in years to come, and they will prove how very much you loved them, how much you feared for them, and how much HE loves them.
    thank you for your beautiful words♥

  4. this gave me chills. i'm going to be rereading this one many times. just what i needed. soul-stirring words, love.

  5. Came over from Rain's space. This is exquisite. Thank you for changing my day and restoring my faith in the goals of humanity:) If each had these soul sights they would not be searching in all the shallow places. Thanks for the reminder!

  6. These words! Your little one will treasure this letter one day. Your heart bleeds onto paper and I feel it. Thank you for sharing this. For being vulnerable and real. Breathing it in.

  7. you love so deeply, dear rachel. it's incredibly beautiful.

  8. ah, i love this so much. so beautiful, dear Rachel. your child is so blessed to have you as a mother.

  9. I love to read what you are write. It is so deep and thoughtful and you paint words so beautifully. I hope you publish something one day!

  10. A very powerful post. I am glad that it has touched so many people.


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon