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not the whole night, but enough of the night to have steak and potatoes and chocolate ice cream, and laugh until we wept with too much joy overflowing from the corners of our eyes.
and then i leaned against the counter and talked to my mom.
and we talked about the baby, and about everything else that comes in between. and we talked about life, like we haven't done in what feels like ages. life has been rushing and i feel like my family connections have gotten a little threadbare since the beginning of two dark purple lines.
but we're all doing a show together this spring. mom and dad and me and baby too, all on stage together for the first time since i was thirteen. and connections form with theater lights and velvet curtains, just like they used to do when i was a child and i had my first tied pair of ballet ribbons draped over my arm.
did you know steak and potatoes and chocolate ice cream and so much laughter could do so much?
i think i'd forgotten. because i think i've allowed myself to retreat, to dwell too much and live too little. to wrap too many shaking fingers around fears and cling just that bit too tight.
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but going home feels good sometimes, to steak and potatoes and chocolate ice cream and the warmth of familiarity when things are too much to handle on our own.
because two are better than one. and a bundle of sticks are better than two. and we're making our own stick bundle now, turning two to three, and five to six.
well the sun is surely sinking down
but the moon is slowly rising
and this old world must still be spinning 'round
but I still love you
:: you can close your eyes :: brooke fraser ::
and so now i'm singing lullabies to the baby in my stomach, the same ones my mom sang to me when i was a little girl. and i'm repeating familiar melodies over and over again.
cross shadows and repeated lines.
and steak and potatoes and chocolate ice cream.
{thank you everyone for your patience with me as i figure out this pregnancy and my body's new way of life! giveaway winners from January are going up in a matter of minutes on the original post, and the new giveaway is up as of tomorrow morning!}
I absolutely loved this Rachel. <3
ReplyDeletelovely. your writing is awesome, as usual. hope you're doing well!
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul
Beautiful. Family feels safe, and sometimes that's the best feeling in the world.
ReplyDelete