Sunday, May 27, 2012

the guy

i'm not sure how to start this post off. i have a lot to say, so much that it's brimming over and twisting my tongue into knots with the magnitude of how to begin. i feel like whatever i say, no matter how carefully thought out and prepared for your eyes, will fall entirely too short.

it's about this guy. this man i've spoken off in bits and pieces, mostly because he doesn't mind being waiting offstage while i write my soul in the center.

this man i call "husband."

and i'm ashamed to say, i've had the sun in my eyes. too blind to honestly appreciate just how much this man has done for me, and is doing in days of exhausted wife with piled clothes and unwashed plates.

he works in a factory, fifty hours of grind, and still has a volunteer's pager strapped to his belt for when fires start and cars flip over. he works all day, and sometimes late at night when the beeping wakes us both and he grabs for boots with bleary eyes and tousled blonde hair, barely time to press a kiss to my sleeping lips before he's gone out the door to save a life.

now he takes the piled jeans and puts them in the machine, and washes dirty plates and knives when my feet ache too much to stand. and when my stomach churns, he sits outside the door because it makes him sick too. but he does what he can because he doesn't want to leave me alone.

there's late-night runs for grape slushies and onion rings with ranch dressing, and countless nights of sleep disturbed while his wife tosses in discomfort and leaves little room for him in bed with the thousand curving pillows and left-side sleeping.

and still his strong fingers find that one spot in my back and press for relief, and rub my neck and brush my hair. this is man i share a booth with, pancakes and bacon and root beer every Saturday morning. the exhausted man, the hard-working man.

{via pinterest}
the one who kisses my nose and brings home chocolate when he knows i'm overwhelmed. the man who holds me in one arm with the other hand on my stomach, waiting to feel the kicks for himself.

and my daughter carries his genes. oh, how honoured i am to carry the strength of this man's flesh and bone merged with mine to create a whole new tiny warrioress for the world. she is not all me -- she bears more than my feeble strength. she has his too, and i am so glad.

this is the man i'm having a baby with, the one i'm sharing my life with. the one that waited in a white suit with a red rose on his lapel at the end of a long aisle two and a half years ago.

this is my husband. this is my hero.

so the nights will still be long, but he will still tangle his legs with mine and run his fingers through my hair while he rubs my back and waits for a little kick to remind him that he is "daddy."

 he is altogether lovely.

this is my beloved, this is my friend,
    daughters of Jerusalem.


  1. Oh how beautiful you make everything sound!

    My Daddy is a Volenteer fire fighter as well, and let me say, I feel proud to be so. May your beautiful little Marian be just as gifted and proud as I feel.

  2. I've been away for far too long, and I've missed the heart in your words.

  3. Awww that is so sweet! :) Your words are touching to the heart.

  4. thank you for sharing such an intimate portrait of your beloved. you will be wonderful parents because of the love you have for each other.

  5. Beautifully written, Rachel!!

  6. This made me cry. You are blessed and so is he. May God continue to shower His love on you!

  7. This is so, so incredibly precious. I can't put into words just how beautiful this was to read.

  8. Wow, this was so sweet. *tears* Love it!

  9. Lovely, Rachel. Oh, how I am sure he is beaming with pride as he reads these words. So glad that you linked this up today. I've missed you in this space.

  10. Every warrior girl needs her warrior hero - someone strong enough to fight for you, confident enough to let you bloom riotously, gentle enough to not break us! So glad you found yours, too!


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon