Friday, September 14, 2012

jumble // tomorrow

{via pinterest}
i'm all over the place right now.

bag packed, clothing washed...did i remember everything? do i need one more blanket, another outfit, just in case? am i overplanning, under-doing?

i'm excited. i'm so, so excited.
but
oh Lord, i'm so scared. 

:: tomorrow is the day ::

i've been counting down for this day for 41 weeks and 3 days that have seemed to stretch endless in front of me. and now this is the end, no more waiting.

i'm being induced tomorrow, the stroke of noon is where this pumpkin starts to transform from me to Mommy. it could be hours, it could be days. i don't like this unknown where i sit right now, this not knowing.

but this i do know.
He is greater. He is in control.
He is God. i am not.

so pray for me, would you please? because i'm so very small, and this seems so very big. and i need peace to do this big thing, this foreign and beautiful and frightening thing.

i'm bringing life through blood. it's sacred, a reminder of Him, really. the Stone Table broke when blood was spilled, and my body might break in this pursuit of motherhood. i'm ready to be carried, lifted up and held.

tomorrow is begin.
tomorrow is the start.

and He is greater.




7 comments:

  1. Praying for you!!! Hope everything goes well. :)

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  2. I am praying for you Rachel! Your sweet babygirl will be here soon! A September baby just like her mommy. :) Call me any time sis! I can't wait for our girls to be best friends!

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  3. Sending prayers your way. Can't wait to see the beautiful baby girl! xo

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  4. How exiting it must be! I'm praying for you and little Marian.

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  5. I so remember waiting... and waiting... and WAITING for my first-born to be ready to arrive. She finally did, only nine days late :) Hope everything has gone well for you.
    Handsfull

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon