Sunday, March 3, 2013

:: be kind to yourself

{my little love and i}
photo property of DramaticElegance
they used to believe that a photograph captured a piece of the soul. with every flash, a part of the person was absorbed into the image.

sometimes i think that's still true. only in part, of course, for i know where my soul stays unwavering. but part of me pulled into the image...yes, i think i could believe that. because i judge my face in the mirror and the camera is a mirror of sorts, a mirror that freezes moments in time.

and i don't always like those moments.

:: be kind to yourself
the note on my mirror reminds. four little words that might be the hardest ever to swallow. but i have to be kind to myself, for my little one's sake. because she's started holding out her arms to me, five and a half months old, and already she silently calls for her momma.

and i know that soon enough she will be speaking, because she's already listening. and she reaches up her hand each morning with sleepy eyes and feather-soft touch from the bed we share and coos love to me.

she loves my face.
why don't i?

i have to learn. so i wrote the note in my best handwritting, the letters composed in what my friends call a fairy language, a love message to myself. because i have to learn to love myself before my little girl sees that i don't, and learns to hate herself the way i still do sometimes.

{via pinterest}
so i'm learning to smile for the camera, learning to reach out a hand toward the feral, frightened kitten that lurks under the porch. we need to make friends, she and i.

there's a promise written, one i will one day have tattooed on my skin like the Lion on my left wrist.

the King, your King, is enthralled by your beauty.
honour Him, for He is your Lord. 
::psalm 45:11

there is a King, mighty and righteous, a roaring Lion and a sacrificed Lamb. and He is captivated by me.

so for my little girl, i will learn to look beyond the mirror and into the soul the camera can't quite capture. the one He holds in the palm of His hand, the one He finds beautiful and worthy, covered in His blood.

Lion of Judah, enthralled by me.
oh, how can it be?


  1. "she loves my face.
    why don't i?"

    a very good word. i, too, have daughters and know how their every look and touch can be such an insinuation of the Father's love and a prompt to love ourselves as women, mothers, and children of the King.

  2. Dear Rachael
    Oh, I love your mother heart towards your little one! The world whispers lies into our hearts from an early age that to be acceptable we need to be thin, highly educated, beautiful, sporty, a successful career woman, a passionate wife, and the most darling mom that can cook and bake up a storm. No wonder we don't always like ourselves. But that is all a lie straight from the father of all lies. Just be the beautiful you your Lord is enthralled with!!! Over via Emily's.
    Much love

  3. This is lovely. I love your heart and your understanding of God's love. It is awe-inspiring, although I think we all just have little glimpses of how deep that love truly is as we walk with God and learn to love ourselves.

  4. Wonderful post Rachel. I love this: "There is a King....and He is captivated by me." I have to read that when I get home!!
    Visiting from Emily.....

  5. oh friend, i know... our little ones love our faces; why don't we? so perfectly said. may our eyes, our vision, be changed from the inside out.

  6. smiles....know that you are doing it for more than you but for that little one you are raising...and in helping her, you will help yourself....smiling at the things our kids teach us...

  7. Rachel,

    Nice to meet you. I'm hopping over from Emily's link up.

    I could picture you cradling your sweet baby close, and snuggling her, whispering truth to yourself and to the woman she will be someday too. Your beauty comes from our Artist God, and he calls you masterpieces!

    Smiling with you,
    Jennifer Dougan

  8. LOVELY. Are you still going to write for "beheld in a different Light?" I'd love to schedule your post -- your words capture my heart every time.

  9. Hi Rachel, we are "sisters" in our new SDG small group. Hoping we'll connect in a private FB group soon also. Such a mature perspective expressed here. What a precious picture of you and your newborn. I'm thankful to have "met" you through SDG. I'm an empty nester and a grandmother-to-be, but I still appreciate wisdom expressed by those younger than me. Thank you for sharing your heart.


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon