the oft-repeated refrain

{photo taken by me}

if you asked me what makes my heart pound, I'd tell you that it's women. if you asked me what pushes me to write when the words feel dried up, I'd tell you that it's women.

if you asked me what's blocking my words right now, I'd tell you that it's fear.

I'd tell you that I'm scared that I write too much about the same thing, that I bombard the world with the same concept over and over again. I'd tell you that I swell with fear when I think about speaking about the way that I've changed, the way that my eyes are wider open now because He smeared mud over my blindness.

but I think you already know that.

I'd like to tell you that I write elegant, put-together and composed ideas about egalitarianism and Biblical feminism. I'd like to tell you that I'm good at gracefully pondering these ideas with highlighter pens and stacks of books that pile around my ankles.

but that wouldn't be the truth. and you already know that, too.

I'm the kind of woman that sits on her couch with her legs crossed while her child sleeps in the room above, sipping a long-cold cup of coffee as she types the words "you are worthy" so many times that she starts to think you might be sick of hearing them already.

and then something crosses my path that reminds me beyond the shadow of a doubt that you cannot remind someone of their worth enough times, that you cannot repeat the same tender invocation too often for the soul to not absorb it like water in the salt pans of Africa. it comes in waves, these whispering calls to arms.

I'm no Joan of Arc, but I think I understand her sometimes, the way she sat with the unpopular call of God shivering through her very blood. and that's where I am today, sitting on the edge of my soft green couch while my child sings her own made-up songs to herself above me. I'm walking with Joan but in the opposite direction. because today He's calling me to put down the sword. there's been enough blood today, enough caustic words burning acid marks into souls.

today I'm letting the sword rest beside the water. and I'm holding you close and whispering the words I've said a thousand times. I'm dipping my fingers into the sea and running them through your hair, smoothing down the edges that can cut us both if we're not careful.

I'm resting against the Lion's side, and it's warm and good. and I'm speaking the words He spoke in oft-repeated refrain.

all things are made new. 

in His image, we are created. 

female, yes, female too. 

He is worthy. 

and you, beloved daughter, are worthy. 

love you, dearheart {a self-care for warrioresses giveaway!}

i'm learning the art of self-care. 

i'm learning that it's okay to whisper two letters that are hard for me :: no. i'm learning how to soak in life, allowing myself to sojourn to the art table and sink into paint and ink and paper. i'm learning that it's okay to shut the bathroom door and cry, because it cleanses, and that's okay. 

i'm learning to take care of me so that i can better take care of them. 

:: i'm learning how to embrace the self that the Lion found worthy enough to die for. 

and i want to help you do the same. 

so i have put together three amazing packages, three amazing love-gifts from my heart and from the hearts of eight other craftsmen, to show you that you are worthy of some tender love all your own. 

// you could win //

1. a spot in MADE :: a inspiring creative e-course created by my precious friend Beth Morey. i am taking part in this, and now you can join myself and a host of other beautiful artists in seeking God-centered creativity. the course begins on September 1st. 

2. a beautiful body, heart, and mind self-care kit which includes 

:: a beautiful handmade jewelry piece from sea of wild

:: an alstroemeria real flower petal necklace from enchanted planet

:: a lunar necklace from spiralDRIFT

:: two types of soap {vanilla sugar + lavender} from Inspiri

:: a custom handmade journal from my own personal shop, DEJournals

3. a tender loving care self-care package which includes 

:: lovely beauty products from Cosmic Bath and Beauty

:: a peppermint pumice + lotion foot care kit from Inspiri

:: two handmade surprise bracelets from hallie johanna

:: a yummy turquoise and silver "brave feather" bracelet from soulmakes

oh dearhearts, i am so excited to bring you these gifts. you are a warrioress, prized and loved beyond all knowing. you are treasured and precious. 

love yourself. it's okay. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

:: be kind to yourself

{my little love and i}
photo property of DramaticElegance

they used to believe that a photograph captured a piece of the soul. with every flash, a part of the person was absorbed into the image.

sometimes i think that's still true. only in part, of course, for i know where my soul stays unwavering. but part of me pulled into the image...yes, i think i could believe that. because i judge my face in the mirror and the camera is a mirror of sorts, a mirror that freezes moments in time.

and i don't always like those moments.

:: be kind to yourself
the note on my mirror reminds. four little words that might be the hardest ever to swallow. but i have to be kind to myself, for my little one's sake. because she's started holding out her arms to me, five and a half months old, and already she silently calls for her momma.

and i know that soon enough she will be speaking, because she's already listening. and she reaches up her hand each morning with sleepy eyes and feather-soft touch from the bed we share and coos love to me.

she loves my face.
why don't i?

i have to learn. so i wrote the note in my best handwritting, the letters composed in what my friends call a fairy language, a love message to myself. because i have to learn to love myself before my little girl sees that i don't, and learns to hate herself the way i still do sometimes.

{via pinterest}

so i'm learning to smile for the camera, learning to reach out a hand toward the feral, frightened kitten that lurks under the porch. we need to make friends, she and i.

there's a promise written, one i will one day have tattooed on my skin like the Lion on my left wrist.

the King, your King, is enthralled by your beauty.

honour Him, for He is your Lord. 

::psalm 45:11

there is a King, mighty and righteous, a roaring Lion and a sacrificed Lamb. and He is captivated by me.

so for my little girl, i will learn to look beyond the mirror and into the soul the camera can't quite capture. the one He holds in the palm of His hand, the one He finds beautiful and worthy, covered in His blood.

Lion of Judah, enthralled by me.
oh, how can it be?

healing breadcrumbs

{via pinterest}

taste and see that the Lord is good

oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him. 

:: psalm 34:8

don't pretend that it's not important to Him, this thing of breadcrumbs and drops of wine. we tend to look at the daily things, air and water and food and shelter, and brush them off. not important, He's bigger than that, we say. 

but even this is vital, even this He treasures. because we've turned food into pain. it's become a pointed look, a raised brow, a slightly caustic "should you be eating that?" and little girls cry and stand in front of mirrors at eight, nine, ten, and place hands on flat tummies and wish to be less and less and even less still. 

but food is not something He ignores. in fact, it's something He is. broken Bread, poured out wine, Life and Living Water. and the King of the World knelt on a sandy beach that morning when the world had turned topsy-turvy and curtains hung torn from top to bottom. 

and the Lamb roared in the voice of a Lion

come have breakfast.

and He laid out bread and fish and served the ones He loved a simple meal that meant the most. eleven men, One Messiah, dining together. and minutes later, He looked at Peter, denier forgiven and bade him thrice do a simple command laden with more love than we could ever understand. 

Simon, son of John, do You love me?

feed My lambs. 

because we all need food, food that passes our lips and lingers on our tongues for that moment before it fills and heals. and then there's the other kind, the kind that once left guilt and shame and now brings glory with every bite. 

:: woman, your faith has healed you. 

because He is sustenance of a greater kind, the glory that fills and restores with Life and Strength and Eternity.  

{sharing healing, imperfection, and grace with emily today; wont't you join us?}