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and i am awake and blogging. i am also clinging to a mug of ginger ale for dear life.
it is at times like this when my moments of poetic depth fly far, far away, and i am left with nothing but awkward ramblings and passionate pleas toward Heaven to keep from fleeing once again to the bathroom.
this baby is already driving me to my knees, for more than one reason. i never have felt so close to Christ as when i am clutching the bowl of the toilet, whispering please oh please Jesus, please as my stomach twists.
i am so humbled by this phase, this time of being pushed from my place of self-maintenance to that of needing so much help and so much rest, even to hold back my own hair.
and so i sit here in front of my computer at a quarter to tomorrow and i write. and i read blogs like this one where i can feel so much less afraid and maybe i can do this after all.
i am wracked with so much nausea that i can barely stand it, and even the effort of standing and heading to my bed is almost too much. but i'm okay, because i can blog and i can read and i can sip my ginger ale.
and i can watch bones and once upon a time and remember that i am a writer, though a pregnant one.
it lets me feel normal, moment by moment.
even at quarter til tomorrow.
I know how you feel. I had nausea badly when I was pregnant as well. Keep embracing Him as you embrace the porcelain throne. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning...
ReplyDeletesorry, hon =( feel better! and enjoy your awesome tv shows ;)
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul
this reminds me of my best friend...she's currently pregnant and she had horrific morning sickness for a long time. i went to visit her a few months ago and i was reminded how awful listening it is to listen to someone throw up. :( so sad. i'm sorry you're suffering from so much nausea. :( i'll be praying for you. bones and ginger ale are two very good things, though. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for relief for you, Rachel. And yet, I am also praying that even when the nausea subsides that you still feel the same drive toward Jesus. Even though I'm not pregnant and not throwing up, I have another ailment that I can chose to either drive me to Christ or drive me away.
ReplyDelete