Thursday, January 12, 2012

expecting brave

and now i know, this is why my word is brave.

because in a moment when a stall door slams behind me and trembling fingers tug silver and paper away,  life changes forever. when stomach is now cradle and fingers now press against soon-taut skin.

because he and me are becoming we.

and this is frightening, in the most beautiful way. i'm not me anymore. it's we, me and little one curled against my innermost parts as He weaves and crochets little eyes and fingers all together.

{via pintrest}

we are expecting a child. 
:: our first ::

and i feel unworthy. this vessel filled, and maybe now i understand my own mother a bit more. because i love this child fiercely, and it still lingers with only six weeks of life beneath my skin and bone. 

we don't know daughter or son, we don't know eye colour or richness of hair. but we know we love this tiny babe growing deeper and stronger. 

and so i press discovering fingers to my abdomen where my little one grows and i whisper of the Lion's song to these developing ears. 

mama loves you already, dearheart. 
and so does daddy.
and so does Abba. 

and i saw the light in my own father's eyes as we held hands today, a grandfather already to the unborn. and i heard the laughter in my mother's soul, a grandmother long awaited. and i heard my sister's gasp of disbelief and cry of joy as sissy turns mommy. 

and i watched my husband's eyes light up with the strangest sparkle as he pressed lips to tummy and whispered sweet dreams, baby. 

september comes fast. thirty-six weeks to go before a ring of fire and blood and life in infant cry. 

and i now know why He wanted me brave. because i'm becoming warrior of a new sort. 

:: mother :: 


34 comments:

  1. <3 Stomach becomes cradle. How lovely.
    So happy for you!

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  2. What a beautiful post and now your heart beats in time with a new title... Mother. Congratulations! The expectancy. The surprise. The wonder of it all.

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  3. yes. you will need bravery. wishing you the best.

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  4. Oh, this is so very beautiful. How blessed you are.

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  5. your writing is beautiful! congratulations

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  6. CONGRATULATIONS! Wow, I am so happy for you. Motherhood is the highest calling, and I know you will be a great mama.

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  7. Ahhhh!! That's amazing! I am so happy for you! I will be praying for you and your little one! Congratulations!

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  8. Congratulations!!! :D So happy for you guys!

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  9. This is so beautiful! And I am very happy for you, Rachel! Congratulations!

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  10. Congratulations!!!! What a wonderful way to announce your pregnancy!!

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  11. Just found your blog.. awesome post!! Congrats. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing.

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  12. First of all, congratulations! I am a mother of two girls. One is 5 years old and the other is 15 months old. I love how you called a mother being a warrior! But yet as I sit here pondering what I have to endure and yet to come as a mother, you are right! Mothers are important in our lives. I pray for wisdom and peace for both of you. It is very scary when you have your first child, but in the end, your heart will grow to a size you never knew it could and your mother instincts will take over when the baby needs or wants something. We were made for this so always TRUST in God!

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  13. AHHH! I love hearing announcements like this... they are the #1 best kind :). CONGRATULATIONS!! That is beyond exciting. May God bless you as you carry this child...

    Moe

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  14. This made me cry! I'm so so so so so happy for you, Rachel, dear!! Praying your pregnancy goes smoothly and for the little one inside you. This post made. my. day!♥

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  15. wait. you're what? we need to talk. now. i seriously started jumping up and down and praising God. YAY!! i'm so gushing right now. oh my gosh. i don't know what to say. wow. wow. wow. :))
    -jocee <3

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  16. oh my goodness, this so made me cry. you know i am rejoicing with you. God is good. <3

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  17. The picture you have posted is of a girl named Hannah. Her older sister, Kelly, is the photographer and I went to church with them growing up. In the picture she was expecting her second, a little girl:) Crazy, huh?
    Congratulations on your news. I hope you are still feeling good. We will be praying for the three of you.

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  18. that is so gorgeous. ♥
    many blessings, my dear!!

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  19. Congrats to Rachel and her hubby! So happy for you both! What lovely post to announce your news!

    Much love!
    Johanna
    http://kidsonthefarm.blogspot.com

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  20. I am so happy for you. I've cried 3 times today just thinking about my dear friend becoming a mom. I can hardly wait to meet your sweet baby. <3 u!

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  21. Oh my goodness! Congratulations!! This was beautiful :)
    ~Lauren :)

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  22. congratulations, sweet rachel! beautiful words you've put here. thanks for sharing your news, your joy, and your emotions on the subject. what a blessing.
    steph

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  23. how incredibly lovely. *tears* with you, sweet one. may this new facet of your journey take you ever deeper, ever closer.

    so much love.

    {{lays hands gently on your tummy. breathes deep, exhales prayer.}}

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  24. this is absolutely lovely. congratulations! <3

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  25. Eloquent. New Life. New Journey. Evolving. In Him and For Him.

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  26. HOW DID I MISS THIS?! congratulations, Rachel! a thousand times, of course. oh, I'm so very excited for you. (:

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  27. Congratulations, Rachel...lovely writing : )

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  28. Wow! So happy for you, Rachel! I missed this! Wow! Congratulations, honey! :)

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  29. Congratulations. I am still all teary after reading your lovely writing and seeing your wonderful announcement. Your child is already so blessed, to have a mommy so devoted. What a gift He gives. Peace and love to you and your family. As always, love your poetic eloquence...

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  30. Oooh! Congratulations Rachel! I am so happy for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this beautiful news and gift from God with us!

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  31. Oh, Rachel! Rejoicing with you, sweet friend! What a lovely gift for the new year. Brave, oh yes, but blessed indeed. Hugs, hugs, hugs to you and your wee one.

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  32. Oh my goodness!!! RACHEL! I haven't been keeping up with the blogs I follow very well, so I was scrolling through yours and I saw THIS. I can't believe it. Oh, oh, oh, I am so very happy for you. Congratulations, Rachel. What an extraordinary blessing. I can't wait to see this sweet little baby. ♥

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  33. Dearest {Mama ;)} Rachel~

    This post. <333333 A thousand such hearts cannot express my happy feelings for you! I was SO happy when I first saw your news, and this post made me even happier. Your writing is just...wow. Tell me when you publish a book. I need it. ;)

    So, {HUGS}, and keep us updated! I can't wait to see your new little one--I know he/she will be beautiful. <3

    -lucia

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon