Monday, January 23, 2012

finding the new {236-242}

i am barely here this morning. my precious notes of jubilation still remain, but they are clouded with exhaustion and a twisting, churning stomach that has yet to abate since close to 8:30 last night.

i knew this would be a side effect. it's the one everyone whispers about behind closed doors, the one they all ask me about, and the one i thought i was escaping.

but curled up in armchairs clutching a ceramic bowl before rushing to another wider bowl in another room...this has been my sleeping and my waking.

and my stomach is slowly fading in its clenching as sparkling water with hints of peaches and a lot of slow-moving rest are finally beginning to do their job.

i feel my blessings slowly changing in their style, but never fading in their sacred glory.
  • 236. ginger ale and sparkling peach water
  • 237. laundry already started and the strength to finish the chore
  • 238. salsa chicken in the crockpot, one of the few things that appeal to my lurching tummy
  • 239. the peace of resting soundly when sleep finally came
  • 240. comfort in disappointment, rest in knowing that plans are held in a Lion's paw
  • 241. encouraging notes from dear sisters and friends, knowing that other women have walked this road before, and have made their own paths of strength
  • 242. being reminded that i am brave and warrioress even in the oddest of ways.
and so i'm resting now. 

i'm breathing slowly and feeling myself settle deeper into the comfort of warm quilts and steaming cups of tea. this cold winter does not touch me here, for i am warm and safe and healing deep within. 

blessings rise here. pregnant and barefoot in the sacred. 


  1. my mom has been pregnant seven times before, and as far as i know, she's never had terrible morning sickness. neither did my grandma. i can only hope i inherited that trait in my genes, but every woman is different :S feel better soon!

    Diary of a Beautiful Soul

  2. I am sorry what you are going through at the moment! I had morning sickness with my first child. I hated it. However, with my second child, I had one thought and one thought only during my pregnancy, when I felt uncomfortable, it was from a devotion I read. "Mothers are like Jesus. We suffer and the process leaves marks on our body to bring new life into this world." (Paraphrasing this) Everytime I was uncomfortable, that is what I said to myself everytime! I hope your morning sickness gets better.

  3. i am glad that you found some peace...that was a lot to take in, in a very short amount of time as is...and morning sickness now as this season as you can...


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon