Wednesday, January 11, 2012

stony place :: ebenezer

{via pinterest}
i'm still in the stony place. the  rocky, rough place that i think we all touch from time to time.

the place where i'm learning to rest for a time, but i feel like i can't let myself breathe without guilt. 

inhale no rest
exhale too much to do

it's the funny place where we feel guilty for doing right, for stopping for a half a moment just to breathe. because i'm learning to embrace the do not need to do instead of dwelling on the must do now or else. 

and the whole day yesterday, i had a window open to write a new blog post. but i never wrote a word. and i thought it would be a bad thing, that i would wake up to negativity or a heart overflowing with shame for slacking. 

but i didn't. 

:: i woke up breathing ::

and that's what i'm supposed to do. and i made toast and coffee and ate both slices, slow and without worrying about the clock with the silence of the house and the whisper-scent of winter breezes that smell like springtime. 

and i still felt strange, but i didn't know why. but it was a good kind of strange, like icy-cold soda on the hottest day and the way it runs down from lips to stomach and you feel the coolness all the way down.

so i'm taking these stones that make my place rocky, and i'm building an altar. and i'm carving ebenezer into the bottom stone. 

here has my Lord helped me. 

{linking my broken prose with emily today}


  1. nice build that altar...and there is no hurry, everything that needs done will get stone at a time...

  2. Very pretty way to put things.

  3. build that alter slow, dear one. Slow and strong. Mean every stone, put a little piece of you between each rock, trapping your worries, prayers, loves there.

  4. So amazingly beautiful. I love how you and so many others carve out this love, this raw authentic space. I admire you so much! The little things like writing in all lower case. Why is that so hard for me to do? Why do I fear breaking "the rules." I need to learn how to wake up breathing and go from there.

  5. There has been much marking of milestones and building of altars in Blogland today. Mark this moment, my friend. Let it alter who you are.

  6. i know. for two weeks i didn't write a blog post and i thought the world would end but each day i woke up breathing and the world continued to rotate and really, i'm not as big a deal as i thought i was, and that's okay :)

  7. so still. so quiet. so be. thank you for your transparency of where you are . . . I am . . . and He waits . . . as we listen to Him and learn from others.


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon