Cadeau (Gift) {33-40}

If you give what can be taken, you are not really giving.  Take what you are given, not what you want to be given.  Give what cannot be taken.  ~Idries Shah

It hardly seems possible that another week has come and gone.

I wonder if time is playing tricks on me...speeding up and slowing down however it wishes, if only to lure me into a false sense of security before pouncing upon me in some strange and unnoticed way.

Each week, as I take stock of the occurrences which now fill the path behind me, I am caught up in the awe and wonder that is my life...and that is my God.

My life is full of beauty. For all the heartache, struggles, and pain that I with which I war daily...there is so much light kissing the edges of the shadows, and making them seem so much less frightening.

• 33. Waiting by the mailbox patiently all week long, only to open the small copper door and finally find the most beautifully penned note for which I have been tirelessly waiting...as I have said, it is the small things.
• 34. An evening of fun with people whom I care deeply about...putting aside myself for just a few hours, donning a hand-stitched cape and dramatically swirled eye makeup, and joining the leagues of justice for a more-than-delightful Heroes and Villains murder mystery party. 
• 35. 11:11 and eyelash wishes. Perhaps a bit of foolishness...more than a gentle reminder to think and pray for you.
• 36. Raspberry lemon ice and oreo-M&M shakes with my daddy after a particularly frustrating rehearsal. Tucked in a blue and white booth, laughing over nothing and mutually missing my mother and sister...such comfort only my daddy can provide. 
• 37. Captain America, too much popcorn and Diet Pepsi, with a bag of M&Ms to share between us...I will never to get too old to share 3D glasses and date night with my daddy. 
• 38. Waking up to Owl City ringtones and the most perfect sunrise...even though I am still confused why my alarm was set to 5:30am. Even still, the glory of the heavens and the paint from the hands of my King made it all worth it in the end. 
• 39. The realization that I can't carry everything by myself...that I have a God who's big enough to carry me and everything else. And on mornings this like...I am clinging to this truth like I'm drowning. For me, and for those I love. 
• 40. Letting God crack the door to the poetic corners of my heart this week..feeling Him cut away at my silent, struggling voice. I am Moses...I cannot speak well. He is making me Deborah. 

I am trying to gaze at the bigger picture. I am letting go of my own mentality of "this is now, and this is all it will ever be."

My life is watercoloured clouds. 

First glance, it is simple, basic, and easily explained.

But now

I am tones of pink and gold and blue and silvery green.

These are my gifts...

...these watercolour clouds. 

See, I am doing a new thing. Now it is springing up; can you not perceive it?I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." ~Isaiah 43:19