But I can't seem to shut my eyes as tight as I would like.
I can still see all the cracks. Every last cracked and battered shard until there is nothing but the damage.
After hours of thinking, this is what I realized.
i write too many drafts.
it's so much more than just saving now for later.
it's overthinking. overknowing.
it's too much.
and i can't stop myself.
i keep going back and
editing
editing
editing
again and again until my inspiration has become uniform and my former dreams conform to yours.
but then i get scared of what you might think of me and i leave my draft unpublished.
another bit of broken pottery.
so i write another.
and another
and another
until my dashboard is flooded with orange italics and too many unfinished thoughts.
count your drafts. how many do you have, really? is it just one? is it five, or ten, or twenty, or one hundred?
four. four drafts too many.
not today. not this time.
no edits, no overthinking. just writing as i think, thinking as i write.
i am His first draft.
why can't this be mine?
This is me draftless.
Take the plunge and go draftless.
I can feel with you. Even with writing, I'm afraid of what others think of it, so I hide what I write. I stow away, to scared to let others glimpse my true self.
ReplyDeleteThis. Is. Awesome. I'm TOTALLY doing this :))
ReplyDelete-Jocee <3
So glad to know that I'm not the only one. I've written whole books and never got any further than the writing process. Because I keep second guessing myself and re-editing until they are nearly destroyed.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely be linking up ASAP.
Neato! :) You know, its interesting...my best writing happens when I just sit down and WRITE, without thinking, without worrying if it "sounds just right". (Sorry I just woke up...this isn't going to make much sense. ;) ) I've always wondered why writers NEED "first drafts." Often I'll go back to read something I've written, in its "first draft" stage, and I can't think of a thing that needs editing! Of course this only happens when I am perfectly relaxed and confident, when my brain is awake, working through my typing fingers. Only then am I truly satisfied with my work. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement, Rachel! <3
I do the same thing! If I ever start a draft, I'll probably never go back and finish it. My best posts were written in a single sitting, almost accidentally. The perfectionist in me could edit forever, but sometimes you just have to let it go, as is.
ReplyDeleteI linked up!! This is such a great idea!
ReplyDelete♥ Johanna
http://kidsonthefarm.blogspot.com
love this idea!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a test comment to see if they are working.
ReplyDelete