Friday, August 19, 2011

Brimming

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it. ~Audrey Hepburn

I'm one of those "brimming" people .

I've constantly overflowing with something...some sort of feeling, emotion, or passion. I find it impossible to do things by halves. 

When I fall in love with something, I hold nothing back in my quest to make the whole world aware of just how amazing my new delight is to me. 

When I have joy, it flows from me like a bubbling stream. I can't contain what I'm feeling...there's something inside me that cries

release me. 
set me free.

However, to my everlasting chagrin, it is not just the beautiful things that find their rapid way into the world from my lips and heart.

It is the ugly things too...those things which destroy beauty and break a thousand hearts.

When I am broken, my tears are endless and the world has never seemed blacker. I yearn for comfort or reassurance, and yet feel unworthy of the love being showered upon me. 

When I am angry, the skies turn black and the boiling within me churns until I am almost sick with the tempest flooding from my eyes and mouth. 

When I am wronged, or when I wrong others in any sort of way, I shatter. I feel as though I have made some unforgivable action, and that I am the bane of all those who say they love me.

It is then that the little voice inside me has turned from a exclamation  of joy and delight, to a whimpering cry to the Heavens...crying out  to the Heavens as the Psalmist did from his terrifying rocky hideaway from those who sought his death. 

release me.
set me free

I was made for bigger than this. I was made to love like the sky, and dream like the wind.

My love is big, and made to be bigger,

His love is bigger still. 

His forgiveness is a fountain. 

I love much. I will be forgiven much. 

He never breaks His promise...

and so He sets my heart free 

to fly again. 

"For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” ~Luke 7:47



4 comments:

  1. Pretty post, Rachel!! I'm one of those brimming people, too :))
    -Jocee <3

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  2. Ahh, I *know* that overflowing feeling so well! So many blessings, so much beauty surrounds and then I truly understand the meaning of the phrase "My cup runneth over," because that is exactly what I'm doing: running over. I love the release, the joy that I get when I turn that overflowing passion and caged delight into praise for God. He is the giver of so many blessings! The greatest one being His comfort. He never fails to comfort. And that is so very beautiful indeed. This post made my morning bright, dear Rachel. Praying for you always!

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  3. wow, i understand this on so many different levels. we sound very similar on this front! i have yet to do a post about Highly Sensitive People (of which i am one), but it sounds like you might be like that too. there are so many extremes...all emotions are extremes. anyway...i just, totally know what you mean. my heart resonates with everything you wrote in this post. to be honest with you, i'm glad to know i'm not alone! i love that audrey hepburn quote.

    so anyway, yes. He never breaks His promises. He will always set your heart free. He will always help you and hold you close...no matter what intense emotion you might be feeling at that particular time. and please remember that feelings aren't bad. there are no bad feelings. emotions are like...guides. welcome your emotions as your teachers. even the painful ones, the ones you say are ugly.

    you're always beautiful, sweet friend. never forget that.

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I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon