Saturday, October 1, 2011


{the last picture taken of me and Granny
August 2011}
i'm bewildered by this thing of passing

the ticking hands of the clock that taunt or sing, never knowing which until you stand in their shadow.

the gentle rush of calender pages that flow and shuffle past from day to month to year, making you stop and stare with just how much time has flitted past your unsuspecting fingertips.

and eventually, the fingers of God gently bring the ticking to a silence. the rustling to a halt.

the end comes eventually. 

and the end is floating steady onward toward my great-grandmother.

this good and faithful one is making her steps toward Heaven's gates, this walk she has taken for so long. a life so changed by the hand of God, a daughter so loved by the King of Heaven.

and so i sit and wonder how to grieve. 

do i even dare to grieve for this soon-coming loss of mine

for her gain is so much greater?

she called for my grandfather first. her youngest son. and so he boarded a plane to California and flew to his mother's side.

then the call was for my mother. one of her many granddaughters. and so my mother and sister boarded a plane and went to her side.

{my favourite picture of Granny ever.
Grandpa at her bedside earlier this week
reading the Bible to her.
this is my legacy}
i envy those who are at her bedside today. those who sit in her bedroom, holding her hand and reading her favourite Words to her.

her days are coming to an end. this life of ninety-five vibrant years is starting to fade.

she fades, but never pales. her breaths are numbered, but her life is eternal.

Granny is going home. 

be it today or sometime in the next week.

and in my heart, i grieve her loss. this great lady.

but in my soul, i dance.

because this daughter is going home.

i love you, Granny. so very much. i will see you on the other side. 
give Jesus a hug for me. 
He's waiting for you. 

{tmy sister's tribute to Granny can be found here}


  1. I'm very sorry Rachel, but she is going to go and be with Jesus. Which is the happy part.
    I'll pray for your family and you as you wait for it to happen. My family and I went through the same thing earlier in the year, and it is hard.

  2. Praying for you and your family. What a beautiful, but bittersweet time this is, when a saint passes into eternity. I know the pain that it can cause as I lost my dear father this year.

  3. oh rachel. praying. *hugs* what a wonderful tribute to your grandma. :)

  4. oh my gosh, rachel. this post...what emotion and beauty and incredible pendulum of emotions. that wanting her here, yet knowing there is Something--Someone--better on the other side, whispering her name.

    and that picture? of your grandpa reading her the Bible? :) that is truly an amazing legacy to be a part of. and i think probably one of the most amazing pictures i've ever seen.

    you and your family will be in my prayers.

  5. Rachel. I'm sorry.
    Yet happy for your grandmother. death for a believer truly is victory.
    I loved second picture. What an amazing story it told. Wow, it brought tears to my eyes. It is powerful. I think it really speaks to the man and woman they both are; their faith; their commitment; and the hope that they share.
    I was never moved by a picture of such.
    God bless you, Rachel. And your family and grandparents.
    I will pray for you all.

  6. i am in your same boat. my great-grandmother is about the same age, and is quietly heading toward eternity. yes, her gain will be great, but our hearts will be left heavy.

    and this thing of passing is even more heavy on my heart right now, because just yesterday i heard that a family friend who was like a son to my dad was killed in Afghanistan. leaving behind his bride and infant child. and my heart is heavy. when death is sudden, when it's someone near your own age, when it seems so pointless...ah, my heart just cries.

    heaven in a beautiful place, though. and we will all be reunited there one day. in that i find hope.

  7. I'm so sorry Rachel. The good thing is you'll see her again and you both can worship Jesus together in heaven.

  8. Oh Rachel. I have only tears--of sadness and of joy. And that photo of your grandfather reading scripture to her. Priceless. This grieving thing--it's so bittersweet.

    Lifting you all in prayer today.

    I'm here from Jennifer's at GDWJ.

  9. That August 2011 picture of you and your Grandma? Oh girl. You're going to cherish that one for a good long time, yes? ... Thank you for sharing your word portrait. This one is so very tender.

  10. Whew! Y'all are wrecking me, tonight!

    Thank You, Jesus, for the hope we have in You...for our understanding that there's no such thing as loss, Father...only temporary separation.

    Your perspective is beautiful, Rachel.

  11. Whispers of love in this home-going tribute to your great-grandmother. Softly you sort through the pre-grief, anticipating the loss. Thank you for sharing it...sharing her. Sweet words, and may we all have someone by our bedside reading words of Truth to the end. Amen.


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon