Wednesday, October 26, 2011

lowercase wood

{via pinterest}
i spent some time today going back over some old blog posts, some old work, some old scraps of paper upon which i had scribbled my moments of darkness of whimsy.
all properly ordered.

all with the appropriate punctuation. all in perfect lines. uppercase and lowercase, all where they belonged.

but then i hit a point of real. a point where the mask came tumbling off and shattered against the floor. and i found my crevices again.

i realized that i was cracked and marred, like well-weathered wood. fragments of me have broken off and been left behind. little scratches and cuts where life has left its mark. 

and my lowercase began to appear. slowly, just a bit at a time. as the polish was scrubbed away, it became frightening. painful. 

but the beauty was apparent. the weathered wood was coming alive, telling a story like polished perfection never could. 

maybe it's okay to be wooden. 
{via pinterest}

to be a story told again and again. to wear my life for others to come and read, pieced together by my skin-scars and soul ripples. it's okay to not be smooth all the time.

bumps are part of it all. 

but the past has made me strong. fire burned me hard, but let my heart stay supple to His tender carving. oh the pain that came with each brush of the knife against my soul. this Carpenter knew what He was doing when He made me this way. 

He left a line or two, a reminder of my weathering, lest i forget Him and grow brittle.

this lowercase imperfection is all i need to remind me that He is God and i am not. this dancing soul which He has carved for Himself, this daughter of Light and Love and so much forgiveness. 

He never said he would erase our past. that was never a promise.

only His glory was assured. 

and so these imperfections.

 they do not glare, they glorify

they do not scream, they sing

they do not humiliate, they humble

and they do not disgrace Him. 

they amplify Him. 

{joining this beauty of imperfection with emily and other soul-searchers today}


  1. "they do not scream, they sing." amen, rachel. amen. :))
    -jocee <3

  2. Beautiful beautiful beautiful! Will I ever be able to express how beautiful your posts are?

  3. "but then i hit a point of real. a point where the mask came tumbling off and shattered against the floor. and i found my crevices again."

    this is the same place i feel i am in at the moment. i am soul searching...and always have been really. but i am seeing 'the real' and discovering that what is imperfect in me is where HE can shine perfectly.
    thank for your constant beautiful musings, Rachel. they bless my heart in ways you do not know!

  4. smiles. we are all still broken in places...places he is still showing us...i write in lower case generally as i understand...smiles.

  5. this was lovely, i can really relate! going through old journals and such i find things i'd rather not remember about myself, but it's a good thing. thanks for sharing!! <3

  6. I love your writing the way it is. It's so poignant, and you always make a complete thought, even without capitalization, grammar, etc.

    I love reading your writing.

  7. Wow! I loved this... so beautiful... So much like my own story too. I really love this post!


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon