breath like His

it's become a thing across the blogging universe.

why do i blog? 

what brought me to this place?

and why do i continue?

i have already done my various posts of this sort, one of which can be found here. 

however, this is different. this is where.

where do i blog? where do i let myself be heard?

to start my September, i was honoured to receive the sacred becomes you award by my dear literary and heaven-bound sister, rain. 

the conviction which flooded me upon reading that post was almost enough to knock me to the ground, as well it should.

i don't blog on my knees enough. 

i think i like to to cling to this wobbling pedestal that looms above me. i don't know why that is, really. it's not that i think i'm something special or want to gloat over my fragile bits and pieces. 

i think my pride doesn't want to admit my smallness. my weaknesses. oh, how i hate my struggles, my moments of emptiness. to be counted as weak is a greater curse than being counted as silent. 

and so i stand. hard and fast against the gentle wind of my Savior's breath. this breath that should and must become my own...i fight and wrestle as though letting go is to die.

but then, isn't it?

isn't it my call to die to self and live for Him? so many greater than me have done so, and with joy. 

paul rejoiced in his infirmities, knowing this truth that i cannot yet grasp.

via Pintrest

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

and so i must let go. i must die. to self, to me, to pride and control and my own strength. 

i must let my breath leave my will, and let His name take its place. 

for is His name, the most sacred, is yet my breath. 

the letters of the name of God in Hebrew… are infrequently pronounced Yahweh. But in truth they are inutterable….

This word {YHWY} is the sound of breathing.

The holiest name in the world, the Name of Creator, is the sound of your own breathing.That these letters are unpronounceable is no accident. Just as it is no accident that they are also the root letters of the Hebrew verb ‘to be’… God’s name is name of Being itself. ~Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

prematurely linking up with The Wellspring.
perhaps not a playdate per se, but oh what joy .