Thursday, September 29, 2011

patient wait

{via pinterest}
i'm not patient. 


i may seem to have a better grasp on waiting for things that matter


but in truth, i cannot bear this thing of wait. 


it's agonizing, to know something could be and is not yet. to know that what i want cannot yet come to pass. 


to know that His answer is always there. 


but sometimes it is wait. 


i'm learning to discern. to hear. to listen. to recognize His voice and leap like a lamb to His feet. 


but oh, how hard is this thing of wait. 


but when He speaks, it pours like water, like rain on the parched soul. 


it is worth this thing of wait. 


it takes such faith to sit under this rock, in this long-standing shade, with the only goal to hear. oh how i fight myself here. 
{via pinterest}
i despise waiting. 

i want now. this now here now. instant. 




but His will is not mine. why is it not? i have been His for years. why do i still reach out with impatient little girl fingers, stomping my petulant foot with pouted lip and crossed arm.


now, Daddy. now. 


but He knows more. 

and so He touches my cheek and whispers


wait. 


and so i learn to unfold my arms and raise them up.


waiting here. 

we're waiting here for You
with our hands lifted high in praise
and it is You we adore
singing Alleluia 
{christy nockles}


from now until the beginning of May 2012, i have embarked upon a study: discerning the voice of God by priscilla shirer. i do this in company with a small group of women from our church, including my mother-in-law, led by my dearest mother. 
this walk is new to me, this concept of truly being still and hearing Him speak is familiar but oh so foreign. 
each week, i will be pouring His voice here. 
expect Him here.
 {pray for me.}

4 comments:

  1. i feel you. waiting is hard. so hard to utter prayers that seem to come with no answers. sometimes i wait and wait for replies to questions that my heart pours out with tears. but then as the silence echoes, i'm reminded of this quote by C.S Lewis:

    "When I lay these questions before God I get no answer. But a rather special sort of 'No answer.' It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate, gaze. As though He shook His head not in refusal but waiving the question. Like, 'Peace, child; you don't understand.'"

    so then wait becomes trust. but it is still that thing of waiting. and it is still hard. patience is not my cup of tea either.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your writing is beautiful! I too struggle with waiting for God's will. Sometimes that voice in my mind says to take things into my own hands, but God's hands are so much stronger and wiser.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, yes. The waiting. It comes hard for us, doesn't it? It seems that it comes harder for us in contemporary society than it did for those who lived before the days of our lightning-speeed technologies. Perhaps, though, it was just as hard for them.

    But we long for what only He can give us, and so we wait. Better that we wait together, isn't it?

    Thanks so much for linking to Grace Imparted!

    ReplyDelete

I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon