Sunday, September 18, 2011

phoenix stage

There is hope; there is a purpose to suffering. Art can create a place where the weight and reality of our darkness can be seen. ~Makoto Fujimuzo

i live for art.

really, i do.

they drive me crazy sometimes. i find myself sitting on the edge of the stage, gazing out over all the empty seats

and i wonder why i do it.

and then i remember. 

i do it for the nights like this one.

the nights where cue-to-cues flow better than they are supposed to and struggling lines turn smooth and rocky steps being to flow in unison again.

i do it for the beauty. for the composition. for the thrill and rush and the incredible feeling of satisfaction seeing months of hard work transformed into a symphony onstage.

today was the first day of Tech Week for OZ!

day one of five before the show. day one of five arduous days that will make my brain ache, my tears flow, and my legs ache with constant pacing and running and darting and leaping.

but it's a beautiful kind of pain.

it's perfect. 

it's this dance. this gift from Him to me. this pain that turns to joy.

this onstage phoenix. 

this quote from my precious Alexandria speaks my artist heart better than i ever could.

We tape up sore toes, 
play till our fingers bleed, 
stain our hands with ink and paint, 
deal with writer's cramp, 
and weep through countless sleepless nights
because without our art 
we would die.


  1. This is beautiful. I love you dear friend! So honored you quoted me...
    You make my heart soar!


  2. I get chills reading these words. So beautiful!

  3. yes yes yes. without our art we would die. so true. sometimes i feel like i'm not living unless i'm creating. creating something.

    “The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.” -Pearl S. Buck

    this sensitive like me.

  4. This is beautiful! Love that quote too.

  5. I love this post -- I feel like I know you so much better and I love the picture of how living in your art, you are living in Him, the Creator of all things.

  6. because without our art
    we would die.

    Wow, wow, wow. <3

  7. Beautiful. I pray for seamless performances of the Oz and strength to keep going on.


I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your spine so you know there's nothing but light when I see you. :: Shinji Moon